Gilmore Girls
Emily Says Hello

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A | Grade It Now!
The Blame Game

Now back to the program. Lorelai refers to the adhesive on diapers as "tabby thingys," so I'm not exactly sure she's the motherhood expert she claims to be. Sookie realizes that she needs milk chocolate and artichoke hearts. Right now. That's the magic formula. Nope. Bell peppers. That's what she wants. Dark chocolate. Taffy and walnuts. Pistachios. Hearts of palm. Sounds like someone's going to be making a trip to Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's: for when you don't want to cook but look like someone who knows how to. Conveniently located without one adequately designed parking lot, your nearest Trader Joe's is just waiting to sell you a bag of vegan pizza dough, a six-dollar box of frozen shrimp scampi, and a gigantic brick of white chocolate. (Cleansers, beauty products, and a decent produce selection sold separately.)

Rory's chillin' in her dorm, trying to read the paper. Paris runs over and reads over her shoulder, prompting Rory to ask her not to compare their reading speeds again, since Paris is still faster: "Enjoy your trophy." Paris needs the exact time of today's sunset. Rory complains that she's in the middle of an article. Paris: "Well, if you read faster, you wouldn't be." Sunset's coming early today, at 4:31. See, Paris is fasting for Ramadan to add authenticity to her journalistic integrity. Or something like that. It's called a "quirky subplot." Paris grabs a line delivery from Sideways: "Are you chewing gum?" She asks Rory not to chew it "at" her. Rory tells Paris that not eating can make a person snippy. Paris reminds Rory that food particles aren't supposed to pass through her mouth or nose, and says that Rory's Bazooka is passing through her nose. Paris also isn't supposed to have any sex, but I think she's going to be able to handle that rule. Marty comes in and announces he snagged a bunch of chocolate goodies from the banquet he just cater-waitered. Paris calls him "bucko." If I were Marty, I'd be pretty pissed off that Rory was flirting with the guy who humiliated me by the coffee kiosk.

Lorelai calls Rory and brags that she's calling from Luke's phone behind the counter. Lorelai loves bragging to her daughter that she's having sex regularly. Lorelai says that she can be on the phone because it's not a cell phone: "Gotta love a loophole." Luke sees Lorelai's loophole behind his counter and barks at her to get back to her seat. Luckily, Luke's phone cord is long enough that you can actually find the person you're on the phone with and talk to them in person without having to hang up. Luke tells Lorelai that he'll be in trouble with the insurance people if a sack of potatoes falls on her head. Lorelai thinks Luke stores his potatoes in weird places. Okay, so this is a pretty decent episode, which means there's not much to snark on. Let me paint the recapping picture, so maybe that will help with the whole "experience." Djb and I are at a coffee shop. We just swooped in and moved tables to be closer to an electrical outlet for his laptop. My iBook, which I've only owned since late May, looks like I've had it for quite some time. This is because some of the letters have worn off the keys. "You can only use your computer if you've been doing this job for five years," Djb said to me. "You have to be really good at typing." I've written a screenplay, a manuscript, a television show, and about twenty recaps since buying this computer, not to mention the emails and blog posts, but it still took a couple of years for the letters to wear away on my clamshell iBook. Pamie: "I'm missing the C, the E, S, L, I, N, G and A. What does that spell?" Djb: "'Lorelai.'" Rory wants to ask Lorelai a question, but the rest of the people in the room are still having their conversation, even though they can clearly see that Rory is on the phone! Paris is beating Marty with her newspaper because his food particles keep getting all up in her nose.

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Gilmore Girls




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