Gilmore Girls
Emily Says Hello

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The Blame Game

Sookie is happy to see that her food has arrived. I've never been pregnant, but I'm truly looking forward to it if it means people will just be at my beck and call all day long. I get to bark a bunch of orders and people rub my back and bring me food? Okay, all I want is someone to bring me food. All the time. Sometimes I'll even drive to the restaurant, but it'd be great if other people were in charge of feeding me. I don't mind cooking for other people, but making food for myself is plenty exhausting. Sookie sees the big bag of gross food, realizes that she has asked for a big bag of gross food, and immediately gets grossed out. Sookie apologizes about being so impossible. Lorelai smiles, since it pleases her greatly when others are groveling at her feet. Jackson hugs his wife, saying he'll deal with all of her moodiness and food issues as long as she's the one who pushes a human being out from her Crock Pot. Ew. I just grossed myself out. Jackson sees a car slow down as it passes his home, and he begins freaking out about it. Lorelai suggests that he get away from the window and go relax. Jackson realizes how dangerous it is for him even to be near a window in the first place. Sookie tells Jackson to go check on Davey the way some people suggest one should "putter around in the garden." Jackson leaves, asking them to tell anyone who inquires about him that he's armed and dangerous.

"He loooooves you," Lorelai sings to Sookie. "He's certifiable," Sookie says. Lorelai tells her she gets to be, since she's pregnant. Sookie says it might be mean, but whenever she worries too much about being cruel to Jackson, she just remembers "Brandi." She means "Sherry," and if that's going to be the standard for motherhood, then Stars Hollow had better get its own chapter for Child Protective Services pronto. Sookie asks Lorelai how Christopher is doing these days. Lorelai immediately says that he's fine, but then remembers that she hasn't spoken to him in a while. If he's not thinking of her constantly, calling her and leaving quirky messages about their days of yore, then something must be horribly wrong! It is funny that Lorelai finds it odd that Christopher hasn't called her again since he needed her that one time. I mean, I didn't even see the episode and I could tell you that was going to happen, because that's what he always does, even when he does it in the most well-meaning way. "I was going to call you, Lor, but my girlfriend got pregnant." "I was going to call you, Lor, but your parents chased me away." "I was going to call you, Lor, swear, but your daughter threatened to rip my nuts off and...you know, can't be a deadbeat dad if you can't keep making babies!" Pregnant Sookie still finds time to make three different centerpieces for her kitchen table -- in fruit, flowers, and something that looks like pine cones with toys. Lorelai says she hopes Chris and Gigi are okay, since the last time she was over, he was duct-taping her diapers. Lorelai is talking in that way she does where her back teeth clench together and she sounds a bit like an anxious Jonathan Lipnicki. Yes, that is the first time someone has mentioned Jonathan Lipnicki in the new millennium. You know, it's expensive getting married, so I decided to sell a little ad time in my recaps. That's where I get the most eyeballs, you know. Speaking of eyeballs, LASIK surgery isn't just affordable these days: it's as easy as seeing your dentist. Don't be blind to the obvious -- let someone cut open your eyeball with a laser beam. Dude! It's the closest we have to flying cars.

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Gilmore Girls

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