Gilmore Girls
Blame Booze And Melville

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | 2 USERS: F
YOU GRADE IT
We Blame Daniel Palladino

Sookie lies in bed. Jackson holds the prop baby and says they should decide on a name as soon as possible. He's not too stressed about it, since whatever name they don't use can just be given to the "next one." Sookie says that they need to talk about that. And by "talk," she means that she is ordering Jackson to have a vasectomy. Once Jackson realizes she isn't kidding, he says that he wanted four children. Sookie says she wanted three children, so two is a nice compromise. As Jackson points out that two is not a compromise at all, a beefy man in scrubs enters the room to escort Jackson down to his vasectomy. Sookie placates Jackson by saying that she has a name for the baby: Martha Janiceloriethanrupertglendacarsondaisydanny Belleville. "Now go get cut," she orders. And with that, Jackson sighs and...just...goes. Like, he leaves to have a surprise surgical procedure done that his wife just decided that he would have without consulting him whatsoever and probably while she was under the influence of whatever drugs they give you during labor. There are so many things wrong with that that I don't know where to start.

Lorelai arrives for Friday Night Dinner and is introduced to Emily's ballerina slave. Instead of Paola, though, there's a hunky man standing there. His name is Mikhail, and Emily explains that, despite her seemingly endless love for Paola only yesterday, she ended up thinking there was something "wrong" with Paola, what with her silent footsteps (and at this point, the newest maid victim silently sneaks up on Lorelai, startling her. Nice touch), chain smoking, and improper use of the Magic 8-Ball. Apparently, Paola would ask it a question and then shake it until she got the answer she wanted. Emily says she tried to explain that you're supposed to accept the first answer the Magic 8-Ball gives you, but Paola kept doing it, and I really wish we had seen that scene. So now we have Mikhail. Emily and Lorelai agree that having eye candy around is not a bad thing. Where is Richard all this time? Maybe Emily sent him away for a surprise vasectomy.

The newspaper meeting is rife with tension! Some guy doesn't want to pay for freelancers, while a woman says that she can't see certain members of the newspaper staff covering Franz Ferdinand concerts. "Ha ha ha!" laughs the rest of the staff. Mitch says that they can't afford to take on new staff right now, and suggests, with a look back to Rory, that they can try recruiting "volunteers" from places like Yale to write some articles. Harry says he'd be happy to "pick up some slack." "After you pick up my dry cleaning," says the old guy. "Ha ha ha!" laughs the rest of the staff. Mitch tells Harry not to let old farts push him around, and looks back at Rory again. She smiles demurely. Another guy says they're having problems in the subscription department. Mitch suggests offering the telemarketing staff minimum wage and a 30% commission. The budget guy complains, but the meeting is adjourned.

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Gilmore Girls

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