Gideon's Crossing

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Ragdoll: C- | Grade It Now!
Crossover Bore, Part Deux

Previously, on Gideon's Crossing: A scary someone sends Ollie flowers. Billy Dee Williams has lung cancer. Gideon tries some experimental drug therapy for said lung cancer. Joanne flies back to Dr. Cooper. She hasn't seen her husband in a while and --gasp -- she's pregnant.

Ambulance bay, slow motion, horrible New Age keyboard music plays. You can hear a heartbeat in the background. Ellenor "Baby, It's You!" Frutt is breathing heavily as she's being carried in on a gurney. Jimmy "The Lump" Berluti is telling her to relax. As the ambulance attendants roll her through the halls of the hospital, Ellenor cries, "Jimmy! I can't lose the baby." She is reassured by Jimmy that she's in the best hospital in Boston, and that they'll take good care of her there. The Lump insists that they need to find "her doctor." Ambulance Guy asks who the doctor is; Jimmy fumbles around the name for a while, scrunches up his face, pulls out some of his huge, unkempt hair, mumbles something about the Bible, and Ellenor sputters, "It's Gideon. Ben Gideon." Jimmy screams into the madding crowd, "Excuse me! I need Dr. Gideon." Ollie starts walking beside the gurney, introduces herself as "Dr. Klein," and asks if The Lump is said bambino's father. Jimmy snarks, "Listen. I just need Dr. Gideon." Ollie tells Jimmy to calm the freak down. The entire crew is now walking down an incredibly long corridor to the emergency room. Jimmy shouts, "Not you. Him. Now." The emergency has turned Jimmy into a grunting, shouting Neanderthal man. A doctor who looks like Lenny Kravitz climbs onto the hokey-pokey line traveling down the hallways and asks if there's a problem. Which there is, of course -- Jimmy just wants Dr. Gideon. Now. He will find him his own damn self. Dr. Non-Lenny Non-Kravitz is sarcastic: "You can go poke around over in the lab." Lump: "Where's that?" But "Gideon could also be teaching over in the medical school." Or he could be with a patient on any one of the five floors in the hospital.

Finally, after ten freaking minutes, they actually reach the exam room. Dr. Boies (Non-Lenny Non-Kravitz) throws some more attitude Jimmy's way, cracks some joke about the Lump having a sturdy pair of wing-tips that can carry him around on his journey to locate Gideon, and says in response to Jimmy asking him who he is, "I'm the doctor that's actually here." Hum. Someone seems to have caught a severe case of the Dr. Bentons. As with any medical case, the one not having the trouble feels the need to state the obvious. Jimmy: "She's having a baby. You don't know how long she's wanted to." Now that was necessary information for the doctors. Not. Why the heck aren't the ambulance attendants screaming stuff about Ellenor's "stats" and explaining what the hell happened to her during this ridiculous exchange? Anyway. Aaron "Are You Gonna Go My Way" Boies leans into a pale, drawn Ellenor's face and introduces himself. He's the chief resident of the hospital. Good for him. He asks, "Can you tell me what's wrong?" Ellenor responds, "I fell." Jimmy jumps in: "She collapsed." Where's Helen? Wasn't Helen at the apartment when Ellenor fell? I guess ABC can only afford two high-priced guest stars per crossover bore. The nurse tells Dr. Boies that the patient is thirty-seven years old and that her temperature is one hundred point seven. Ellie wants to know if her baby is all right. Non-Lenny states, "Let's find out." Man, machines are beeping and Gideon's own Melody of Melodrama is making sure everyone keeps pace with the "hurried" nature of the situation…

…until everything is calm. Ellenor is explaining to Drs. Klein and Boies that she was on her way to the bathroom, and the next thing she knew, she was on the floor. Ollie says, "This is going to be cold." Then, we've got a picture of Ellenor's baby (I wonder if it's a real ultrasound with a real picture of Camryn's real baby) looking just fine. Jimmy stares at the picture. I guess he gave up his quest for Gideon, who, in his timely manner, shows up to remark, "Look at that beautiful baby!" Ellenor mumbles a very faint greeting. Gideon inquires after the fall. Jimmy corrects him, "She collapsed." Ben turns to him and asks if it was a seizure or not. The Lump doesn't know the answer to that question, but wants to make sure Ellenor's going to be okay. Of course, are you a relative? He's a friend. And with that, Gideon asks him to wait outside. Ben moves closer to Ellenor's bed and wants to know why she wasn't resting. She explains that she did everything he told her to do. "So you fell out of bed?" Gaff! Chuckle! Oh, doctor humour is so not funny. She cracks back, "I was on my way to the bathroom. Like, what a surprise, my bladder is the size of a shot glass." Gideon asks Boies to get Dr. Levkowitz from obstetrics. Ellenor doesn't want Dr. Levkowitz. She wants Gideon. Only Gideon. All Gideon, all the time. Ben leans right in over Ellenor and states, "We have to make sure your pre-eclampsia hasn't progressed to full-blown eclampsia. If it has, we'll have to deliver your baby early." Wait. Ellenor's not in a courtroom; she can't give birth. She assures Ben she didn't have a seizure; it was more like a head rush, like when you get up too fast. Any pain? Well, her back is killing her, and now she's got a pain in her stomach, right there. Gideon pokes her. He asks Dr. Klein what she thinks. Ollie wants to wait for the results of the tests because Ellie's temperature is still slightly elevated. They admit Ellenor into the hospital; he assures her she's in good hands, and she makes Ben promise that if there is trouble, he'll save the baby.

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Gideon's Crossing




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