Game of Thrones

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A- | 12 USERS: A
I Got You a Box of Snakes

The king looks at a statue unhappily. "Did you have to bury her in a place like this?" "She was my sister. This is where she belongs." As part of my recapping duties, I shall unpack this a little. This is the last resting place of Eddard's sister, who was beloved of the king. And the king misses her: "She belonged with me. In my dreams, I kill 'em every night." "It's done, your grace. The Targaryens are gone." "Not all of them."

Whoops! Let's change scenes again! Welcome to PENTOS, across the narrow sea. This is the place with the unreadable name from the opening credits. A wistful white-haired young lady gets the name Daenerys almost immediately. Her white-haired, somewhat foppish brother shows off some fabric that their host has given them. It's exceedingly fancy. The brother is somewhat fancy himself. His mannerisms are a lot like Kent from The Amazing Race's "Kent and Vyxsin." Except that his hair, like Daenerys's, is white. While a servant fills an enormous hot tub, the brother complains about her slouching: "Let them see. You have a woman's body now." And there it is, in all its nakedness. In close-up, too. HBO! He studies her body and does a little fondling. Well, I don't think I approve of that. You know what? I think this guy's a baddie. "I need you to be perfect today. Can you do that for me? You don't want to wake the dragon, do you?" He seems to think that this is an acceptable threat, but he's pretty spindly. She seems scared of him, although she seems scared of everything. He says people will say his reign began today, then leaves. She slowly gets into the tub, while staring out the window. The servant rushes in, gasping, "It's too hot, milady!" But Daenerys doesn't seem to feel it. [Or she wants to burn all of her skin off after getting groped by her creepy brother. - Zach]

Daenerys, her brother and a dark-haired, bearded fella who I take to be an advisor of some sort stand outside on the front steps to their charming house. The brother is impatient, but the advisor informs him that the Dothraki are not known for their punctuality. Then some swarthy, shirtless men ride in. The advisor introduces the brother as Viserys of House Targaryen, who is the third of his name (I can't imagine that's going to be important) and the rightful king of the First Men. Daenerys is his sister, also of House Targaryen. The advisor is speaking some other language to the Dothraki. Let's say he's speaking Dothraki. That would make sense. Viserys exposits to Daenerys that when Dothraki are defeated, they cut their hair. So you can tell that Khal Drogo here has never been defeated, because he's got a ponytail all the way down his back. Viserys considers Khal Drogo a savage, but a great killer. And Daenerys will be his queen. At his bidding, she walks forward, wide-eyed. Khal Drogo sneers down at her with his bumpy forehead, then rides off. Viserys freaks out: "Where's he going?" The advisor assures him that the ceremony's over and everything is fine.

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Game of Thrones




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