Game of Thrones
Blackwater

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A+ | 89 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
A Drink Before the War

Back to the wall. People are shouting about having more rocks coming up. The crazy old alchemist -- looking even crazier -- brings up a torch and hands it to Tyrion. Joffrey and the Hound back up.

The empty ship floats past Davos's ship. The archers all continue to point at it. As it goes past, Davos sees that it's leaking some kind of green fluid. He recognizes it as wildfire and starts shouting at everyone to steer clear of it. There's a lot of green floating on top of the water. Tyrion throws the torch into the air.

That's the signal, apparently. Down on the ground outside the city, Bronn dips the tip of an arrow into some fire. Then he shoots. The flaming arrow flies very far through the air over a few boats and hits the green pool dead center. Davos yells for Matthos to get down. But I don't think it would help, because there's a huge green explosion that basically wrecks their entire ship. Kaboom! Davos goes flying and the boat gets reduced to splinters. Even on the wall, Joffrey can't look straight at it. The Hound doesn't flinch. The green fire appears to have taken out many, many ships. Men run around on fire on the ships that didn't outright explode. There's some regular non-green fire from where the wood of the ships touched the wildfire. Tyrion looks around to get reactions. The Hound doesn't have much of an expression, but I think he's impressed. Joffrey is delighted! As he should be, because the giant green fireball looks amazing from the castle. It's like he has the best seat for Fantasmic! ever!

Stannis Baratheon stands up on his boat and looks at the flaming wreckage all around him. He tells his men to prepare to land. His theory is that the wildfire was the defenders' only trick. His nearest soldier tries to talk him out of landing on the grounds that they're too far from the gate and there are all these archers up on the wall. And also all this fire. He asks how many men will die. Stannis shrugs that the death toll will probably be in the thousands. He doesn't seem bothered by this. Then he shouts, "Come with me and take this city!" It's on.

Maegor's Holdfast. There's a juggler. Sansa is praying with a few other girls. Cersei is still drinking and wants to talk to Sansa again. Sansa has to explain that she was praying and Cersei makes fun of her for being so perfect. And what was Sansa praying for? For the gods to take mercy on them. All of them. Even Cersei, apparently. How about Joffrey? Sansa starts her standard speech about how much she loves Joffrey and Cersei tells her to shut up. Then she tells her a story about how she prayed to the gods to bring her mother back and Tywin told her the gods don't have mercy. Tywin believes in the gods, but he doesn't like them. Cersei makes Sansa drink some wine. "I should have been born a man. I'd rather face a thousand swords than be shut up inside with this flock of frightened hens." Sansa points out that Cersei told all the ladies where to go and Cersei explains that it was expected of her. The whole point is that if King's Landing survives, the ladies will go back to their men (or, as Cersei puts it, "the hens will return to their cocks") and talk about how Cersei's bravery inspired them. If the city falls, Cersei plans to go to the wall and personally surrender to Stannis, although she doesn't think she has much of a chance of seducing him. She reminds Sansa that tears aren't a woman's only weapon. "The best one's between your legs. Learn how to use it." I think Cersei is being very helpful, although I can see how Sansa might hate every second of this. But honestly, these are helpful tips for a potential queen.

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Game of Thrones

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