Game of Thrones

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A+ | 89 USERS: A
A Drink Before the War

Sansa goes to her chamber and bars the door. There are screams outside. Sansa picks up a doll and starts to have a touching breakdown. But then! It turns out the Hound is in her chamber! Man, how do you not notice that guy? I know she's distracted, but come on! He says he's going to go someplace that isn't burning. .And the king? "He can die just fine on his own." The Hound drinks some wine and I imagine Sansa's getting tired of talking to people who drink all the time. He offers to take her to Winterfell. "I'll keep you safe. Do you want to go home?" She actually declines. She thinks she'll be safe. Stannis won't hurt her. The Hound tells her that Stannis is a killer, as are the Lannisters -- her late father, and her brother. Her sons will be killers. "The world is built by killers. So you'd better get used to looking at them." She tells him he won't hurt her. She looks him in the eye and says that. "No, little bird, I won't hurt you," he says. Then he turns around, unbars the door and leaves. She lets the doll she's holding enter the shot in a very artistic visual moment. I guess the message is that she's leaving childhood behind? Or something? She's still holding the doll, though, so I don't think that's it.

Armed men break a lock and exit a tunnel. Stannis's men are still battering away at the gate. Someone is shouting at them to hurry up, but Tyrion comes up behind him and CHOPS HIS LEG OFF! Get 'em, Tyrion! Tyrion now tells everyone to attack and there's more carnage and blood everywhere. They roll the battering ram over and the fight's over pretty quickly. They start chanting, "Halfman! Halfman! Halfman!" Then Tyrion looks out toward the beach and says, "Oh, fuck me." There are lots more of Stannis's men coming. The battle continues! You didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you, Tyrion?

More fighting. The armies clash! Stannis is up on the wall and carving his way through the defenders. He cuts the top of one guy's head clean off. Down on the beach, Tyrion dodges a few attacks and loses his axe. His attacker gets taken out, but he's quickly replaced by a larger, scarier attacker. The large, scary attacker swings his sword and now Tyrion has an impressive cut all the way across the center of his face. If he were one inch closer to the attacker, he would have had his head chopped in two. And then! The larger attacker suddenly gets a spear through the head. And who saved him? Podrick, that's who! Good work, Podrick! Tyrion slumps and Podrick runs up to him. Man, Podrick turns out to have been a good squire. Tyrion was right to trust him. If you're only going to trust one person, it's important to pick the right one.

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Game of Thrones




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