Fraternity Life
The Frat And The Furious

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The Frat And The Furious

Previously on Fraternity Life, America found out what happens when a group of rushees want to pledge a fraternity run by a pathetic bunch of whiny fuck puppets. The answer? Not a whole hell of a lot. The fuck puppets had trouble coming down off of their high horses long enough to accept more than three or four of the rushees. Grant fully expected to receive a bid, convinced that he had wowed the brothers with his unique brand of cocky and arrogant charm. Alex's girlfriend has not only been labeled a bitch, but has quickly developed a reputation as a manipulative psychotic bitch by no less an expert than Earl.

This week, we're greeted by the prerequisite shots of Buffalo, New York. The home of the Buffalo Wing and bitterly cold and nasty winters. I had a chance to move to Buffalo once. Maybe it was Albany. It could have been Toronto. I really don't remember. Decades of hardcore glue-sniffing will do that to a guy, y'know? We see Alex and Grant going to a miniature golf course where the girl asks them what kind of balls they want. Alex hooks a thumb at Grant and says, "He wants blue balls," and then...wait a second. Holy shit. This is exactly same scene that was in last week's episode. The dialogue, the camera angles, the lame jokes...is this what we can expect of this freakin' show? To run the same scenes over and over again? ["Are you sure it's not just that these morons go miniature golfing a lot and always make the same weak-ass joke?" -- Wing Chun] Granted, I understand that we've got a bunch of dull frat boys who don't even know the meaning of the word "charisma," but the least they could do is show us some more local scenery or something to make this at least appear fresh.

We get some more scenery from Buffalo. You can never have enough of the local scenery in an MTV reality show. I'm feeling as peaceful and tranquil as a Mother's Day Card from Hallmark. We're magically transported to an emergency meeting concerning Pledge Bids. Colin is conducting the meeting while his ears are taking the night off. I'm not exactly sure what he's talking about. It's got something to do with fraternities, but it's Greek to me. Get it?! It's Greek to me?! Anyway, we're told that everyone voted on the pledges and then left. They all voted exactly the same, and they ended up with a pledge class of about three guys. So the standards to let a guy pledge have been dropped from 90% of the guys liking him to 80% of the guys liking him, thus changing the ratio of guys who are voted in. Colin explains that the brothers only had about ten days to get to know the rushees, and sometimes that's not enough time for everyone to meet the guy and form an opinion on him. Basically, they have to lower their standards of guys they want to call "brothers" for the next four years in order to have a cast large enough to qualify for an MTV series. They vote on this lowering of their standards, and the brothers grudgingly agree, so it's accepted. I've had recent visits to the urinal that were more dramatic than this shit.

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Fraternity Life

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