Fraternity Life
Line Me Up, Line Me Down

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: C- | Grade It Now!
Line Me Up, Line Me Down

Previously on Fraternity Life, the pledges saw their pledge house for the first time, and jeans were creamed. Alex didn't know whether to be scared of George. Let's see...he's scared of his girlfriend, but not scared of this miniature drill sergeant. I peer closely at the screen to see if I can detect any fresh lobotomy scars on Alex's forehead. None. So I guess that logically there's no explanation for the boy's blatant ignorance.

We get the obligatory scenes of Buffalo, including a homeless guy eating cat food with his fingers. Hey, "Welcome to Buffalo" indeed! Paul's waking up Earl and telling him that Jarreau has finished in the shower and now it's Earl's turn. Earl's all bitchy first thing in the morning, which Paul confirms, saying that Earl gets angry easily. Which serves as foreshadowing for the episode at hand, so thanks for the heads-up, there, Paulie. Earl admits that he's had the toughest time of everyone in adjusting to his new surroundings, because he's not used to living with people his own age and he's always had his Mommy there to wipe his ass when he had a stinky, and it's just taking time and a concerted amount of effort to get used to wiping his own poop hole. Jarreau struts out of the bathroom and gives Earl one of those cockeyed grins that says "I left a lil' somethin' somethin' for you on the soap there, Big Guy!" This is the first shot we've had of Jarreau's naked chest. The boy's covered in tattoos. He looks like Ozzy's mentally disturbed son. In a voice-over, Jarreau says that Earl doesn't like being bossed around and he just needs to learn to suck it up. My God, does everything have to be a sly sexual innuendo with Jarreau?

Downstairs, everyone's getting ready to go to classes. Earl asks Paul where the heck is Steve. Paul says that Steve's still asleep upstairs. Paul thinks he may have mono. This causes Jarreau to roll his eyes and cover his mouth with his fingertips while quietly giggling to himself like a mischievous little schoolgirl. Tim says in his voice-over that he clicks well with Steve. We then see Tim ripping Steve's bedspread off him while he tries to sleep, exhibiting Tim's idea of "clicking well". Steve is desperately trying to keep the bedspread wrapped tightly around his body because he apparently doesn't want to show off his shiny honker this early in the season.

Earl's pissed and says it's rude of Steve to hold everyone up, as they all pile into the car. Earl honks the horn to get Steve moving. Steve comes out of the house, slooooowly walking to the car. This lollygagging infuriates Earl. In a voice-over, Steve admits that he likes doing stuff like that because it gets a rise out of people. Earl asks Steve what his fucking problem is and starts bitching him out. Steve tells Earl to shut the fuck up and to never fucking yell at him again. I can't help but think that if The Waltons had been presented with gritty reality like this, it might still be on the air today.

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Fraternity Life




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