Firefly

Next Step: Straight To Video

By Jacob Clifton | Aired on 02.21.2006

Serenity: The Big Damn Movie - If you haven't seen the show, please do. It's nice. But this recap doesn't assume that you have -- and in that, we're being a touch nicer than the movie. And meaner, considering the best characters get routinely shit...

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RECAPS, WEECAPS, AND MORE

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2-1 Recap	Next Step: Straight To Video Serenity: The Big Damn Movie - Season Two in Big Damn Movie form. An answer to the River question, the Reaver question, the slash-fic questions you've been dying to see discovered... Oh, who are we kidding? If you're reading this, you've seen the movie a hundred times.	02.21.2006	B+	Jacob Clifton
Ep.	Title	Air/Pub'l	Grade	Author
1-14 Recap	Gunfight At The Ho K Corral Heart Of Gold - Mutant Enemy filled an episode with hookers, sex, and gunplay, and yet the show still got cancelled by FOX. They just couldn't win, could they?	08.17.2003 08.17.2003	C	Shack
1-13 Recap	With friends like these... The Message - A young man who served under Zoe and Mal during the war turns to them for help when he runs afoul of an evil organ-harvesting group. So they kill him. No, not the organ harvesters. Zoe and Mal.	07.21.2003 07.21.2003	F	Shack
1-12 Recap	Even Nathan's naked ass couldn't save them. Trash - Saffron's back, and she brought crime-related hijinks for everyone! Simon has a long talk with Jayne about the status of their relationship. No, it's not like that. Dammit. Oh, and the show's still cancelled.	06.15.2003 06.15.2003	C+	Shack
1-11 Recap	Ending where it all began Serenity - Firefly comes to an end with the airing of the previously unseen pilot episode. We get to see some background and history for all the characters, even though they already took all this background and history and fit it into all the other episodes they've already aired. So it's kind of like ending with a clip show. Except without any clips.	12.19.2002 12.25.2002	B	Shack
1-10 Recap	This week's episode simulcast on KRZY Objects In Space - River temporarily checks her madness at the door when the ship is confronted with a bounty hunter even crazier and more annoying than she is. Simon takes off his shirt and gets wounded so that he can catch up with all the other boys before the show gets cancelled.	12.12.2002 12.14.2002	C	Shack
1-9 Recap	Girl-on-girl action! Woooo! War Stories - Firefly finally capitulates to FOX's key demographic by having an utterly pointless subplot about Inara getting it on with another woman. In less pandering storylines, Niska returns for another helping of scenery, Zoe kicks ass all over the place, Book shows more hidden skills, River gives Buffy a run for her money, and Jayne makes the process of eating an apple seem dirty and erotic, God bless 'im.	12.05.2002 12.10.2002	C+	Shack
1-9 Extra	Twenty Questions -- if you round up The Jose Molina Interview - Jose Molina answers some of Shack's stupid questions. Or, alternatively, gives smart-ass responses as he sees fit. It's all good.	11.24.2002 11.24.2002	N/A	Shack
1-8 Recap	The gloves come off Ariel - But only in a metaphorical sense. Simon pushes the crew to help him finally find out what happened to River. Jayne finally stops whining about having fugitives on board and does something about it. Something bad. The men with the blue gloves finally start doing evil, with the help of a little device that softens brains while they do dishes.	11.14.2002 11.20.2002	A	Shack
1-7 Recap	A River Runs From It Safe - Simon and River's attempt to flee from the clutches of the Academy is briefly interrupted by their attempt to flee from the clutches of some overly Puritan backwoods hicks. And there's more to Book than meets the eye. Especially in the area of pectoral muscles. You don't have to look if you don't want to.	11.07.2002 11.13.2002	B-	Shack
1-6 Recap	The anvil is mightier than the sword Shindig - No Chris Sarandon wannabe is going to keep Mal away from his Inara. Not that he wants her or anything. He's just protecting her honor. That's all. It's not love! Shut up! It's not!	10.31.2002 11.06.2002	C+	Shack
1-5 Recap	Misty yellow-tinted memories Out Of Gas - Before they signed on with Serenity, Wash was bloated, Kaylee was naughty, and Jayne was even naughtier.	10.24.2002 10.30.2002	B+	Shack
1-4 Recap	A Hero Ain't Nothin' But A Box-Dropping Man-Ape Gone Wrong Jaynestown - Jayne's the one / who likes all the pretty songs. / And he likes to sing along, / and he likes to shoot his gun. / But he don't know what it means, / he don't know what it means, / 'cuz he's a goon.	10.17.2002 10.24.2002	B-	Shack
1-3 Recap	The old maul-and-chain Our Mrs. Reynolds - Mal's new wife cooks, cleans, seduces, poisons, punches, kicks, and hijacks. Inara doesn't poison, punch, kick, or hijack, but on the other hand, is actually in love with Mal. Zoe doesn't cook or clean, but Wash still loves her because she can totally punch and kick his ass. River doesn't cook, clean, seduce, poison, punch, kick, hijack, or even talk this episode, thank God.	10.03.2002 10.06.2002	B	Shack
1-2 Recap	Leave It To Reavers Bushwhacked - The emptiness of space turns some people into murderous psychopaths. The emptiness of the script turns the episode into a ponderous bloodbath.	09.26.2002 09.29.2002	C+	Shack
1-1 Recap	Confederacy Of Dunces The Train Job - A ragtag band of space outlaws rebels against an oppressive galactic government -- with its silly uniforms and human experiments -- by stealing stuff. Except, when it turns out that people really need the stuff, they give it back. Isn't the point of stealing to take things that people need? Oh, that's right; they're a good ragtag band of space outlaws. Well, mostly good. Occasionally. Anyway, that one guy totally deserved to be pushed into a turbine.	09.19.2002 09.22.2002	C	Shack