Fat March
The Nine

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C- | Grade It Now!
The Nine

After 16 days, we learn that weight loss, while personally satisfying, doesn't mean diddly because the marchers still face "punishing" daily mile-goals at every turn. Matt's knee isn't getting better. Will and Anthony hate each other. Wendy's a slacker. And the weather is turning nasty. Just your average feel-good reality TV show. Cue the Fat Marcher Sign.

As Day 17 dawns, the marchers take off from Milford, CT -- "A Small City with a Big Heart!" Lorrie informs the marchers that Stage Three will take them from the trails to the Times -- Times Square. The marchers cheer, hoping they won't have to mount tents in the middle of Broadway.

Today, Steve announces, they will walk 12.7 miles. The responses range from "Wow" to "You're the devil" (Chantal, natch). Anthony, the biggest loser in nearly every way, brings up his 37-pound weight loss, saying he feels "lighter on his feet," which should allow him to get through the walks faster. For all the other leadfoots, though, Steve and Lorrie note that it will be a hot day, so they all need to stay hydrated. Is that Foreshadowing peaking its little head out from behind yonder bush?

Oops, spoke too soon. Foreshadowing is hanging out by Wendy; she admits she's thought about quitting many times. She says, though, that she doesn't want to quit until she loses her goal of 60 pounds. And then? Anvilicious editing, courtesy of a Steve post-production VO, gives us some indication that Wendy is at risk. Loralie says she's nervous about Stage Three "for some of our more vulnerable team members."

Shots of the glaring sun and heat waves are accompanied by pounding music. Lorrie explains they marchers have walked through all terrains and now changing seasons. Honestly, I think the producers should thank the fossil-fuels reapers and aerosol companies of the world for causing global warming because, without it, Fat March would barely have a leg to limp on.

And my predictions from Episode One re: Wendy as the group whiner are beginning to come to fruition. She walks, screaming that she can't feel her feet and calling the march "pure Hell." Anthony, ever the empathizer (watch for this later), says she can't go home, then turns it on her, saying that she should just up and quit if she's going to make idle threats and lower morale. Because he's a motivator and a steadfast believer in all the marchers, Steve brings up Wendy's slacking in Stage Two and says they could sense more of the same at the beginning of this stage.

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Fat March




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