The Peace Of Wild Things

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The Peace Of Wild Things

Carter examines a husky lad, accompanied by his husky dad. Husky Lad is sick to his stomach; he and Husky Dad shared a pizza for dinner, but there hasn't been any vomiting. Husky Lad says that there's some pain around his "belly button." Carter asks how old he is; Husky Lad says he's twelve. Okay, I don't want to be unkind, because I myself am not the most slender reed in the pond, but this kid is really big for twelve. Carter asks, "You married?" which always makes me laugh when people ask it of kids. Husky Dad chuckles obligingly. Carter remarks that Husky Lad is big for his age, and asks if he plays football. Husky Dad says that Husky Lad is more into videogames, and claims that "that's what kids do now." Husky Lad also has some pain in his back. Lily calls Carter to look after another patient, and on his way out, he tells Husky Dad that he thinks Husky Lad just has "a touch of the stomach flu."

In the lounge, Conni is showing off an ice cream cake that she says is "pistachio, almond, and peppermint." Haleh makes "yum" noises, and Chuny speaks as my surrogate: "Peppermint?" Word; I'm down with the nut flavours together, but throwing in the peppermint is just gross -- and I love mint ice cream. Not that a fictional ice cream cake is that important to me, or anything. Conni tartly says, "Just eat the pistachio, then." Weaver comes in as Conni's putting the cake in the freezer and groans, "Oh, God. Another birthday? We should just leave the decorations up permanently." Lily explains that it's for Carol's baby shower, and Chuny adds, "It's a surprise." Conni produces a pair of reading glasses and says she just found them in the freezer. Weaver quietly says, "May I see those?" On her way out, Haleh says, "I've left mine in some pretty weird places -- in the dryer, one time!" I only transcribe that because I love Haleh. Conni asks Weaver if they're hers; Weaver checks them out and says, "No, but I think I know whose they are."

Benton walks into Elizabeth "Crumpet Strumpet" Corday's new office and asks if she has a minute. She tells him they can talk while she works, and complains about the state of her office -- formerly Romano's -- briefly before saying, "Sorry. You wanted to talk?" No sooner has Benton opened his mouth than Romano appears in the doorway and snipes, "Slumming amongst we simple surgical folk, Dr. Benton?" Benton wearily turns his head away as Elizabeth tells Romano they were just talking about a patient. Romano says, "Nothing that was taking Peter away from the electrifying excitement of trauma medicine, I hope?" Romano tells Elizabeth that he has a hernia scheduled for the next morning but that he's going to be tied up in a meeting with the insurance people, so he was hoping she could take it for him. She takes a sip of her coffee and he adds that it's at 6 AM. She chokes. He tells them about the explosion in the ER and says that the insurance people are concerned about hospital safety. Elizabeth anxiously asks whether anyone was hurt. Romano says, "Your boyfriend got his hair mussed a bit." Apparently confused by the reference to his hair, Elizabeth asks, "Mark?" Romano says yes, and adds that Mark bounced right back, except for the temporary deafness. On his way out, he pauses and returns to ask Elizabeth, "How much would you pay for my sperm?" Elizabeth splutters, "I beg your pardon?" Flatly, Romano says, "Oh, was that sexual harassment? Oh. Oh my." She crosses her arms, and he continues, "No, I'm being recruited by the Marshall-Hillberg sperm bank; its donors include Olympic athletes and Nobel Prize winners. It's an elite gene pool." Elizabeth says, "And they want you?" Romano says, "Yeah, it's a little embarrassing, actually. But it's for a good cause. I mean, who knows what the mother's side is going to bring to the party, but as for my side of the genetic divide, I can guarantee a significant advantage over the rest of the spermic competition. Can't have too many extra Romanos running around, spicing up the gene pool, can we?" The last part he directs toward Benton, who looks down, presumably to avoid laughing in Romano's face. Romano struts off down the hall. Was that supposed to be a come-on to Elizabeth? If so, it was pitiful. If not, it was still pitiful.

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