The Longer You Stay

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Heathen: B- | Grade It Now!
The Longer You Stay

Previously on ER: Weaver's first attempt to find her mother failed, so she fired her investigator. Abby encouraged Carter to apply for the Attending job in the ER, because Chen won the Chief Resident gig. Chen, meanwhile, tempted fate by promising not to let Weaver down. Carter basically told Abby he was interested in a relationship with her, but won't wait around forever for her relationship with Luka to combust. Finally, Roger punched Benton because he thought Benton wanted Carla back. ["The cheesiest thing about this 'previously' is that when this actually happened last season, Roger was played by Victor Williams, a.k.a. Deacon from The King of Queens. Now Roger is played by Vondie Curtis-Hall (formerly of Chicago Hope, and also the director of Glitter), so they reshot the scene with him. WHY?! That was just dumb." -- Wing Chun]

"One-hundred-forty patients, twenty-seven admissions," Carter marvels. "That has to be a record." Frank snorts, "I got a record for you: a guy in Exam Four swallowed fifty hot dogs in nineteen minutes." And that will yield yet another record for Most Vomit Ever. Carter gleefully announces that his shift is over. Abby "I Survived Sally Field And All I Got Was This Lousy Kidney-Stone Patient" Lockhart arrives and dismissively asks Carter about her kidney-stone patient. He admitted the man to Urology, so they both decide it's time to dash. "Give me the beer!" bellows Haleh as Abby scrambles past her. An old man in a wheelchair protests loudly as Haleh rips two cans from his tightly clutched six-pack. ["I'm not positive, but I think the old man is my beloved indigent Pablo." -- Wing Chun] Haleh shouts for Abby's assistance, but Abby glibly brushes it aside. "He's drunk, combative, and he won't give up his beer!" complains Haleh. She doesn't understand that sometimes, those exact conditions make for a stellar weekend. "I need help!" yelps Haleh. "I need to pee!" grouses the man. Abby smarmily punches out while Haleh mentally plans to punch her out. "That's gonna cost you," Haleh threatens. As Abby breezes toward the exit, a cold front with a baby strapped to it sweeps inside. "Where's Mark?" Elizabeth "Tornado of Bitchery" Corday snaps. "Who?" Abby replies. "Mark Greene, your Attending," sneers Elizabeth. "I think he quit," Abby says airily, leaving. Elizabeth's poisonous expression is all, "Don't tease me," and my gasp of hope is all, "Do NOT tease me!"

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