The Advocate

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Heathen: B- | Grade It Now!
The Advocate

"The wonders of marital bliss, huh?" Carter observes dryly. "I wonder who's worse -- her for being such a pain in the ass, or him for being so pathetic." Then he trips over an anvil and lands right in the lap of our hero Ron Obvious. "Cuts both ways, I guess," Abby shrugs. Carter makes up a question to ask Elizabeth so that she has an excuse to cross the set. The camera picks Elizabeth up and follows her toward Trauma Green.

Just outside the room, Lizzie bumps into Crazy Toe Girl's mother. "I'm surprised the camp actually called you," Elizabeth says, sitting down. "They assaulted your daughter." Mama CTG bites her lip and snorts. "Is that what she told you?" she shakes her head. "She ran off on the second day. They didn't touch her." Elizabeth points out that, clearly, somebody touched CTG. "What makes you so certain it's not the camp?" she asks. "Because she says it is," Mama CTG replies bitterly. "Trashing our house with a baseball bat, shoplifting, drinking, drug use, unwanted I need to go on?" Elizabeth stares at her as if unable to believe a teenager can be so evil -- like she herself wasn't the stepmonster of a rotten little brat and budding tramp. Mama CTG's pager beeps, so she excuses herself. "Maybe you can talk to her when you're finished?" Elizabeth pleads. "I haven't been able to talk to her in three years," Mama CTG says, sadly. Elizabeth stares at the ground, upset that the writers have forgotten that she's not Mark, and angry that she's apparently getting some reheated crappy troubled teen storyline that got rejected last season from the Things That Parallel Mark Greene's Pathetic Life pile.

Weaver is treating a leprechaun who got thrown across the room in a bar fight. "It was not a tossing," he says sternly. "There's a difference." Uh huh. Dr. Anspaugh wanders over to congratulate Kerry. "Whatever you're doing down at City Hall is working," he grins. To Weaver's surprise and guilty alarm, Anspaugh reveals that the hospital's budget sailed through the committee without a single cut -- stunning, considering that they were expecting to lose up to 20%. "He drove off the snakes!" announces the leprechaun, referring to St. Patrick. Kerry stares at him. "What the hell kind of misguided metaphor is that?" she wonders to herself. Anspaugh smiles and tells her to report to his office at 5 PM with Romano in tow. "Just some administrative housekeeping," he says. "We should burn through it pretty quickly."

Frank bellows for Weaver to go help Susan with "that kid who was looking for you...the medics brought him in." Weaver bolts into Trauma Yellow as, interestingly, background music kicks in for the first time in the entire episode. "He passed out across the street," Susan exposits. She tries asking Weaver a few questions, assuming that Weaver knows Keith because he was looking for her. Weaver lies that she doesn't know him, and muscles her way in to demand that they intubate immediately. "So you do know him," Susan says softly. Weaver just insists that it sure looks like an allergy attack, covering for the fact that she already knows exactly what he must be allergic to. Chuny notices a City Hall ID among Keith's things. Susan turns and shoots Kerry a quizzical look. "I got some papers from Health and Human Services. Maybe he dropped them off," Weaver stammers. As they scramble to treat Keith, Susan continues staring confusedly at her boss. We fade to black admiring Kerry's good luck that the shot went into his ass, which they can't see, rather than his arm, which they can.

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