The Advocate

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Heathen: B- | Grade It Now!
The Advocate

During February sweeps, Weaver tried forcing Luka into therapy, Carter told Susan he was going to propose to Abby, but later balked, and Weaver withheld a positive syphilis test from Alderman Bright's medical record.

We come up on Kerry Weaver, who is arguing passionately in front of the city council that she should not be required to wear prom hair every time she drops by for a debate. Her makeup looks great, but the updo, while flattering, belongs with a taffeta dress in a matte color Olan Mills photograph featuring a macramé heart and a gymnasium banner that says, "Endless Love." Despite the committee chair's repeated assertions that Kerry can shut her piehole now, because they get the point, and it's not their fault the prom theme "Endless Love" sucks a giant fatty, she continues to argue that doing whatever it is they want to do would leave a community without reliable medical care. "We get it," the council chair barks, calling for a vote. Alderman Bright seconds this motion. Kerry stares at him, nervous and surprised, and he twinkles back at her, cocky and reassuring. "All in favor of closing the Erie Street Clinic," calls out the chairman; assorted hands pop up. Roughly the same number of hands vote against this, and Bright lazily lets his arm waft skyward to seal the deal. "The nays have it," the chairman announces. Kerry lets out a relieved breath, and the Alderman shoots her a smug smile.

Weaver and Bright leave the room together, Bright complimenting her on her stellar work, magical persuasive skills, and bravery in wearing bridesmaid hair to an important meeting. Those comments combined make a thick enough layer to render her coat unnecessary on even the coldest Chicago day, but the good alderman would like to make absolutely sure she's warm, so he lays it on again and tells her she's got that special sainted quality that makes politicians so special. Wait, how does he know she's a facile liar? Bright coos that he wouldn't be surprised to see her as Surgeon General one day. "Christie, meet the future Surgeon General," he says to his assistant. Christie chuckles politely. Christie remembers the time he told her she'd be the next Secretary General, not realizing that he just meant "my secretary in charge of general appointments, and also coffee." Weaver tries to deflect all this attention. Christie calls after Bright that someone called about the gay marriage amendment. "Tell him I'm sympathetic, but it'll never pass, and I'm not going to torpedo the bill," Bright replies.

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