Episode Report Card
Heathen: C- | Grade It Now!

Previously on Exit, Romano, the one-armed wonder faced off against his old nemesis, Chopper; the myoelectric Utah arm was no match for several flaming tons of twisted steel, and so Romano was dispatched to the big landing pad in the sky. Neela, the intellectual one, and Abby Of The Interpersonal Skills (but, since when?) acknowledged one another's talents and agreed to help each other. Sam's strange son Alex befriended Luka, to Sam's distaste. She doesn't want any shenanigans wherein Alex tries to bring them together.

This episode was originally called "Missing," and then it became "Identity Crisis"; the showrunners must, however, have realized that was too apt a metastatement, because they switched back to "Missing" at the last minute -- which, come to think of it, also accurately describes where some longtime viewers are.

We start the hour in Alex's room. Hanging from the wall or the lamp or whatever is the x-ray Luka took of Alex's skull. There are a few plastic sword-type things hanging from the wall. It's a very basic boy's room; nothing in here to inspire any alarm, because Luka hasn't yet posed for the poster that will later hang above Alex's bed with a big heart drawn around his face. Sam quietly enters the room, a curly-haired shrub today. Since her debut episode, the show has apparently decided she's too poor to afford a flat-iron. "Hey," she says with a loving smile, patting Alex's head. "Hey, buddy, wake up." Alex rolls over unhappily and grunts that it's a late day today. "Not for me," she chirps. "I've got to get to work. Come on!" She yanks off his covers, and it reveals that he's wrapped himself up in his sheet like a mummy. "Rise from the dead, King Tut," she laughs, leaving. Alex turns back onto his side and pouts.

Abby, Neela, and Lester sit at the front desk, each in front of a laptop. Abby complains about a test question that she thinks is too hard. Well, that's why they're tests, and that's why you study. They're not going to ask you for your shoe size. "What number are you on?" Lester asks. "Forty-one. You?" Abby replies. "Fifty," he says. Neela hits return with a grand flourish and steps back, satisfied. Abby looks both wryly amused and a bit put-out that Neela is already finished. You know, when this arc was first spoiled, a lot of people were positive it was going to be an "Abby is a perfect little med student" story, and I'm glad the show hasn't gone that way -- but it's gone so far in the opposite direction that it's almost too much. Like, I'm wondering why Abby's a med student at all, or how she got into med school in the first place. Is the message that becoming an emotionally deprived nurse with a bad dye job will kill your brain cells?

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