Episode Report Card
Heathen: C+ | 5 USERS: A-

Outside, where it's pouring rain, Angelique is indulging her nicotine craving. Carter trots up to her so that she can put on a tutu and play Exposition Fairy. "Power is out everywhere," she shouts, adding that there's one line from the turbine and the Mai Mai cut it periodically because they're crabby fucknuggets. But, crabby fucknuggets with machine guns, so everyone learns to get nothing and like it. They chit-chat about how he's enjoying himself, Carter babbling about how nice it is that these poor, sickly, underfed, and generally disadvantaged people lack any kind of health insurance, which reduces Carter's workload considerably. What a lovely sentiment. Angelique offers Carter a drag on her smoke and snits that she'd trade it all for an ultrasound. Carter takes a puff, pretending it looks normal, when really it would look more natural if he was trying to smoke a fork. This show really likes to teach that when you find yourself in times of trouble, Mother Marlboro comes to you.

A honking horn breaks Carter and Angelique's conversation, followed by the sight of a speeding truck. It screeches to a stop in the mud as Carter and Angelique run to it. Dr. Luka "The African Queen" Kovac hurriedly unloads four injured people, one of whom has a bullet wound and one of whom sustained a machete wound to the upper thigh. Angelique screams for Charles to fire up the generator.

Bursting inside Trauma Shabby, everyone shouts frantically at everyone else: put him there, cut this, pack that, peas and carrots. "Water's cold," Carter points out. "Want to wait for someone to boil it again?" yells Angelique snarkily. Carter's face is like, " Gamma, help!" Carter gets assigned the fourth trauma -- they don't know yet what's wrong with him, and it's Carter's job to find it. Encyclopedia Carter is on the case.

The lights flicker on, and there is much merriment, if by that you mean jaded mock-joy. Carter asks Gillian how they stabilize necks here, and she points him to some sandbags. He then asks for tubes that they don't have, because in case you missed it, they can't do fancy medicine here. A brooding boy who we learn is the patient's brother stands with Patrique, the outpost's driver. "Mai Mai?" Carter asks. Gillian nods. Patrique translates that the brother claims a bee flew into Injured Man's armpit. They're all, "Whaaa?" Carter checks, and sure enough, there's a bee-hole right under the arm. Welcome to Volunteer Medicine 101: "Bee" Is For "Bullet." French French French, wailing, French French. Carter makes a face. French. Carter figures out that the bullet ended up lodging in Bee Man's thigh. Meanwhile, Luka and Angelique are stressing that the generator only has an hour of juice in it; they decide to switch off all other hospital lights, which buys them closer to four hours. Gillian darts a look at Luka, who's too wrapped up in his trauma to notice her. She seems upset about it and vows to pass him a note later with a scathing quiz: U R A QT. Do U Think I'm Gr8? Yes, No, Maybe, Circle One.

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