Just As I Am

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 2 USERS: A+
Just As I Am

Kerry, emboldened by that show of affection, says quickly that her biggest regret is that her parents never got to meet their grandson. Helen can't believe that Kerry has a family. Kerry takes out photos of Henry and shows them off. The first one shows Kerry, Henry, and Sandy. Helen looks at the photo and says that between the baby and the full-time job, it's no wonder that Kerry needs a nanny. Kerry's smile fades, but she doesn't correct her. Helen asks if Kerry's husband is a doctor too. Kerry says carefully, "I'm alone now. There was an accident." Helen offers condolences and asks if it was recent. Kerry says it was last year. Helen is very sad, and then tells Kerry that she has to have faith to get through such things. Helen lists off a lengthy Biblical quote to support her assertion. Kerry stares at her in shock and disbelief. And guess what? Commercial.

Kerry stands in the bathroom, crying. A woman walks in and asks if she's waiting for the stall, and Kerry says she's not. She gathers herself together and walks out. Back at the table, Helen shares family photos. Kerry asks if there are any pictures of her father. Helen shuffles through and finds the one that she has. Helen is pregnant in the photo, and Cody has his arm around her. They are both grinning, and they look so, so young. Helen says that Cody drove up to see her in Indiana, even though he didn't have a license. She chuckles, "For the life of me, I don't know what we thought we had to smile about."

Kerry gathers up her courage and shows Helen the first photo she saw earlier explaining, "This is my family, Helen. This woman's name is Sandy Lopez and she's not my nanny. She was my partner." Helen doesn't get it. Kerry says sadly, "My lover, my wife, the mother of my child. She was a firefighter and she died last year." Kerry looks Helen full in the face, tears in her eyes. Helen asks, "You're gay?" Kerry says yes. Helen's face falls. Kerry says she wanted to tell Helen earlier, but she was afraid, and she never told her adoptive parents, because they died before Kerry accepted who she was. Helen gulps air like a fish and says slowly, "So they never knew you made this choice." Kerry says sharply, "It's not a choice. It's who I am. Who I was born as." Helen asks Kerry to pray with her, and Kerry says angrily that she won't. She stands up. Helen calmly asks her to stay. Kerry grabs her purse and runs out.

Outside, Helen follows Kerry as she angrily walks down the street. Helen says she didn't mean to offend Kerry, but she was glad to find her. Kerry asks if her sexual orientation changes that. Helen says that it's wrong, and it's not what God created. Kerry mutters that she knew this was a mistake, and asks why "people like [Helen] are always saying things like that." Helen wonders why "people like [Kerry] are so dismissive of people of faith." Kerry says that Helen has no faith that God knew what he was doing in creating her. Helen doesn't disagree with that. Kerry wonders what about gay people is so much more threatening than all the terrible things in the world. Helen asks Kerry not to dismiss her so easily. Kerry lists off all the horrible things in the world, and says that the faithful think that lesbians will destroy their lives. Helen says that the world isn't perfect, and that it's what they make it. Kerry reminds Helen of the verse she just quoted about how everything will be fine if we have God's love. Kerry adds that she knows the words, because she was raised in the church. Helen says that Kerry should know that the church wants to heal. Kerry says, "Except that the welcome sign's not out for everyone, is it?" Helen asks if Kerry hates all faith. Kerry says that she hates that her own faith excludes her because of the people she loves. Helen corrects her, "The people you've chosen to love." Kerry says, "I have made a choice: to stop living a lie about who I am. I was alone in my soul. Do you know what that feels like?" Helen doesn't have anything to say in response, and instead says that she thinks she'll walk to her hotel.

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