Just A Touch

Episode Report Card
Heathen: C- | 1 USERS: B+
Just A Touch

A man named James gets wheeled in on a gurney, the passenger in a car accident. He's bloodied on his right side and his arm is hurting. He's also thrashing mightily. "Driver got the worst of it -- they were T-boned," the medic says. The female driver comes in next, and sure enough, she's bleeding and in full pain. James is dispatched to Trauma Yellow, where Pratt is with him. "Save my arm!" James howls. "You're not going to lose your arm, sir," Sam drones annoyingly. Don't sound irritated with him for being scared, hosebeast. "She your girlfriend?" Pratt asks, thumbing toward the girl in Trauma Green. "No, man, I just met her last night," James wails. "She was driving me home from her place. I should've taken a cab!" And with that, he shrieks again. Pratt and Sam determine that his elbow is dislocated.

In Trauma Green, Neela says that they need to run trauma panels. Malik snappishly asks her if she'd care to let him know which ones. She rattles off a list. The girl is moaning and wearing a very pink, very lacy bra. Those two things aren't connected. Cute lingerie can never be used for evil. "Is Greg Pratt working?" she mutters. And here, of course, we recognize her from the aforeshown El scene. She asks them to get Pratt. So Neela wanders into Trauma Yellow and tells Pratt that a patient is asking for him. He, meanwhile, has finally gotten James to conk out for twenty seconds so that they can tug on his elbow and get it back where it belongs. Ow. It's not nearly as disgusting as that knee scene from last week, though. James wakes up and opens his mouth to begin screaming, until he realizes that his arm is now fine and fully functional. "Holy crap! You're GOOD!" he gapes. "You can pick up your Dr. Greg Pratt Fan Club ring at the door," Pratt smarms, trotting over to Trauma Green to see about this other aficionado of his work. The girl moans, "Greg, is that you?" He blinks. "Yeah," he says, pretending to know her while mouthing to Malik to give him the name on the chart. It's Rena, which rings no bells with our American gigolo. "We hooked up last year. Met on the El, remember?" she murmurs. "Oh, yeah, right," he says, shrugging at Malik as if to say, "If I had a dollar for every girl I met on the El, I'd be a bloated, rich, boyishly ooky-looking white dude with a dead grandmother, a trust fund, and a knocked-up Congolese fiancé." Luka explains, as Neela shoots Pratt a disapproving look, that Rena will need surgery. Does someone on this show have a mother named "Rena" or something? That's two Renas. "I'm all messed up," winces Rena. Pratt promises to take good care of her; we fade to black on him sighing, as if the burden of being irresistible is just too great for one man to bear. Wow, that might actually be the least compelling act-out they've used in a long time. Will Neela crack a smile? Will Alex get his guitar? Will Pratt remember Rena? Will Malarkey get literal and wear a hat shaped like an ass? Just try to go away now.

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