Impulse Control

Episode Report Card
Heathen: B- | 1 USERS: F
Impulse Control

There are few things as surreal as recapping an episode of ER after having spent a few hours in one. Typing things like "tension pneumo" and "surgical consult" take on a whole new meaning when you're watching your roommate dealing with both. Think happy, lung-inflating thoughts in her direction, please!

Previously on ER: Kem is planning to return to the Congo before birthing the Cartus in the States; Abby told Sam that Luka was a good guy, and Sam insisted she didn't need or want a boyfriend. And then, to underline the bolded, italicized, highlighted point, we see the shot of her kissing Luka on the El while we hear the voice over of Sam saying, "I wouldn't mind some regular sex." Check. We've got it. Like a virus.

Alex and Sam leave her apartment -- him for school and a sleepover, and her for work. Alex whines that Sleepover Family is always doing zany things like praying before meals. "Be respectful," Sam says. "Start thinking about something else." Yes, that's very respectful. Just because that's how you deal with bad sex doesn't mean that the sweet little baby Jesus will be okay with Alex folding his hands and murmuring "Amen," while thinking about the Bulls, or the Blackhawks, or how to perform a tracheotomy on little Jenny Smith with a butter knife and some uncooked penne if she starts choking in the cafeteria. Alex frowns; he doesn't want to go. Sam tries to tempt him by reminding him that Austin's mother is planning to set something on fire at dinner. It's so nice to see her encouraging the budding pyromaniac in Alex. Goals and direction must seem so refreshing in a kid that young. Alex tells Sam that Austin's mom is going to set bananas on fire. I hope that's going to develop into a touring act. Sam doesn't care, and packs him into the waiting minivan while apologizing to Carpool Mom for her tardiness. "I couldn't get Max going, either," Carpool says tiredly. "I'm never gonna make yoga now." As she hands Alex his stuff, Sam shoots Carpool a cocked eyebrow, as if to suggest that she might be less than sympathetic with being late for meditation and stretching when Sam's off to a world of stress and bodily fluids.

Sam reminds Alex of how to reach her, and warns him to check his blood sugar before dinner. He asks what she's going to do that night: "Are you going to see Luka?" At first, I thought this flowed from his first thought, but I think he actually was leaping to whether she'd be seeing him at work, because Sam says, "I guess so," but acts flustered and a little blushingly secretive, as if Alex doesn't know that what he's asking holds an extra meaning for her: tongue. "Enjoy your night of freedom," Carpool says to Sam. She slams the car door and they leave. "Man, your sister's hot," Carpool's kid mutters to Alex. Ha ha, except judging by how familiar she was with the mother, isn't this Sam and Alex's regular carpool? It makes no sense, then, that Stupid Child would either think that, or even crack that joke. I don't know why I can't let these things go.

As Abby tries to present patients to Weaver, a man throws himself against the glass of the drug lock-up and screams that he is dying. An extra sitting in the lock-up, face looming in the left foreground, shakes her head disapprovingly. This scene serves no purpose, aside from giving Chris Chulack's sister/wife/daughter a blurry and unflattering moment in the sun. Thanks, bonenut. Abby's got a fourteen-year-old girl with a sprained ankle, and calls her medical history "unremarkable," which wins her a lecture from Weaver on how it's important to be thorough. Kerry's thesis is that a girl of that age might not come to any doctors with any regularity, so this is their chance to make sure she's not pregnant, knows how to use birth control, and isn't hiding the presence of unsightly genital sores. Abby's all, "I should bring the cervix into an ankle exam?" Weaver stiffly insists that Abby get a full medical and sexual history.

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