Episode Report Card
Heathen: C+ | 1 USERS: A+

Cynthia is stunned. "Leukemia?" she gulps. Luka gently breaks it to her that Rick didn't know he'd had it. "If we'd sent off a CBC earlier, we could've started the transfusion of antibiotics in time," he says. Okay, Step One of avoiding a lawsuit: Don't admit fault. "Now he's showing signs of brain damage because he was deprived of oxygen," Luka adds. Cynthia begs him to affirm that Rick might still get better, because she wants to eat her grief cracker with a sliver of hope on top. Luka hedges, but under pressure, admits it's not impossible. "We waited out here for so long before they took us in," sobs Cynthia. "So many people got seen before us! Why'd we have to wait so long?" Luka exhales sadly and admits that Rick should've gotten better care. Step Two of avoiding a lawsuit: Don't admit any deficiency. Cynthia stares at him, and asks if Luka believes in God. Nothing. The Bishop twitches in his grave. Luka's cheek scar is there, and it's just as big as it was earlier, but it's not bleeding. Still not sure why it decided to reopen. Cynthia continues, asking if Luka believes God punishes people. "It wasn't God," Luka says. Oh, come on! Step Three of avoiding a lawsuit: Blame God. Never admit that whatever went wrong couldn't have been some cruel divine punishment. In fact, encourage it. Luka clearly needs to skim Malpractice for Dummies. Cynthia grasps his hand and implores him to pray with her; despite his resistance, she bows her head and ostensibly starts saying a rosary. Abby passes and stops in her tracks when she sees a guilt-ridden Luka huddled next to Cynthia. She shoots him a shocked and disgusted look. Chill, Abby. He's sitting with a grieving girl, not buying Eminem's house off eBay. We fade to black really, really annoyed with this act-out, because it's asinine that Abby would assume Luka's flirting with Cynthia, and also because she's cast herself as Luka's defender in this whole scenario, so it's dumb to have her glaring at him because she's judging him. I hate fake tension.

The Flash Of The Pooch Being Screwed. Trauma Yellow. The room is calm. Erin has bagged Rick and is pumping...whoa, that sounds a little pornographic. To paraphrase, she's helping him breathe, but his sats are dropping. "They'll come up," Luka insists. Chuny offers Luka some coffee, but he refuses. "This is the flu kid?" Susan asks, surprised as she enters the room. "Pulmonary edema," Luka informs her -- so, fluid in his lungs that's impeding his breathing. Confused, Susan deduces that something must be wrong, and Erin notes that there's a lot of resistance to the bagging she's doing. That seems natural, though, because it sounds like just about all viewers would resist a good, hard Erin-bagging. Susan whips out the stethoscope and listens over Rick's stomach. "Dammit, you're in the esophagus!" she panics. Holy Shit in D Minor strikes up as they all run up to Rick and start trying to fix what's broken. "I heard bilateral breath sounds!" Luka insists desperately. "They must've been transmitted," Susan counters. "I listened over the stomach." Rick's machinery beeps itself into a frenzy. "Could you see the cords?" Susan shouts at Luka. "It was hard to tell," he admits. Susan is in a snit. Luka stupidly decides to try and blame a nurse, suggesting that the tube blew when one of the nurses taped it up, and Chuny shoots him a dirty look, because she blew his tube and here he is, insulting her. Susan tries to take over The Re-Intubation of Rick, but Luka won't have it, then frets that there's too much blood in Rick's lungs to re-tube him anyway. Erin brandishes his CBC results and Susan translates the medical lingo that drips stiffly from Leslie Bibb's mouth: Rick has acute leukemia. Luka can't believe it. "No wonder he's bleeding so much," Susan freaks. "He's septic, bag him!" She then yells for a crike kit. "We're going to have to crike him?" Erin shrieks. Good lord, girl, put a tube in it, will you? Luka tears off his gloves and seethes that there was no indication at all of leukemia. "He presented with a simple fever," he insists. "It didn't look like anything." Luka would make a crappy investigative reporter.

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