Episode Report Card
Heathen: C+ | 1 USERS: A+

The Flash of Since When Are Pratt and Chen Official? Susan's party. Most of the good-times gang is hanging out in what we presume is Susan's living room, despite the fact that it doesn't seem to resemble the apartment we've seen in the past. The hostess has just opened a packet of edible undies, and is claiming she doesn't understand them. Apparently, she's dumber than a candle. Someone hands Carter his gift; it's a pair of handcuffs. Oh, ew. Don't want to imagine him and Abby playing naughty cop/filthy hooker. Chen and Pratt laugh while Pratt rubs her back with his left hand. Wha? Are they out of the closet? More importantly, have they even spoken to each other since she nearly rode his lap all the way home? What the hell is wrong with this show?

Abby is last to go, of course, because she's the Princess of Everything. She opens her gift with an incredibly rude bored expression and brandishes a snow globe, which she proceeds to look at as though it's a testicle on a stick. She's awful. Please, guys, don't give her anything ever again. No one cops to giving it to her, though, and Pratt rubs Chen some more. Abby and Carter rise to leave because he has to work the next morning, and she has an emotionally ambiguous scene to play out. After some gracious ribbing, everyone wishes them a merry Christmas.

Abby roots through the bedroom coat pile; Luka appears in the doorframe behind her. He twirls fuzzy dice around his finger, an apparent Secret Santa gift. "What'd you get?" he asks. She hands him the snow globe, by which I mean she slaps it into his palm really brattily, as if to say, "Look at this piece of crap." Luka smiles slightly and tips it over, turning the crank on the bottom. It's a musical snow globe that plays "Greensleeves." He's totally the one who bought it for her. He wants to turn her crank the way he tweaked the music box. That's hot. Abby regards him curiously. "You all right?" she asks. "We don't talk much anymore," he says huskily. "I don't know what to say." Abby stares at him for a second, then smiles briskly. "We should fix that," she suggests. Turning back to the bed, she prattles on about how they should grab coffee or dinner. "Carter orders up a mean pizza," she jokes, and then she freezes, because Luka has tenderly reached out and started stroking her upper arm with the backs of his fingers. He looks almost hypnotized, as if he's in a trance and can't help himself. She stiffens. I'll wager he does too. I'm not sure how she can stay frozen when he's so scorching hot. Brooding Luka smolders. "I miss you, Abby," Luka murmurs. Her eyes dart around for a second, then she turns. "I'm going to take a wild guess here: You've been drinking," she says. He shrugs. "So?" he asks. "So maybe we should talk about this some other time," she hedges. "You don't look happy," he replies bluntly. Abby, taken aback, sputters defensively that she is indeed happy. Luka hurriedly insists that he's glad, because he wants her to be. "I'm just saying, if you're not..." he trails off. "I should go," Abby blurts, grabbing back her Snow Globe of Repressed Lust. "I made mistakes. A lot. A lot of mistakes," Luka stammers desperately. "Don't make another one," she says lightly. Right back at you, Abby. As Luka gazes emptily at her, Carter enters the room to break up the moment. "Luka, you're missing all the fun," he says. "You should stay," Luka says. "Gotta go," Carter replies swiftly. He doesn't seem suspicious of anything. They ask if Luka's on tomorrow, and the answer is no. "Lucky you," Carter smiles. "Lucky for the patients," Luka says. Foreshadowing stops doing backflips and vomits on my shoes. As Abby exits, she turns to check out her sad sack ex-boyfriend one last time. "Merry Christmas," she says. "Yeah," he replies softly. "Merry Christmas." He wanders back to the coat pile and knocks back a drink.

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