Episode Report Card
Heathen: C+ | 1 USERS: A+

The Flash of the Tertiary Medical Scuffle of the Week. There's an old man in Trauma Green whining about wanting someone arrested. A young woman enters -- his daughter -- and frantically asks if he's okay. "I don't know! It happened so fast," he moans. Luka and Pratt escort the daughter outside for a second as she demands to know if they caught her father's attacker. This must be Mr. Doric, from earlier. He looks fine. So far, Mr. Doric's pretty roundly uncompelling. "[The attacker] says he knew your dad from before," Pratt begins, but Luka interrupts and says the other old man wasn't thinking clearly and none of it's important. Doric's daughter freaks that they're treating the man who assaulted her precious papa. "He brutalized a harmless old man," she seethes. "He doesn't deserve help." Luka correctly points out that it's not their job to judge, but rather to heal. Then they basically get the woman out of the scene so that Pratt can ask why Luka's protecting the attacker, whom we haven't seen yet. "He's eighty years old, Pratt," Luka sighs. "Doesn't mean you have to help him lie," Pratt points out. Luka says something like, "The past is the past -- you can't help running," but I couldn't tell if that's correct or not because my captions still aren't working, the bastards. Pratt says, "He did a good job." Luka intones, "Until today." I'm kind of tired of this. We had enough going on without having to add some wacky old-man hijinks.

Frank tries to fend off the vicious midget and one of his buddies, who is dressed like an elf. "He won't let us see our friend!" they shout to an inquiring Luka. "Don't you have reindeer to mount?" snarls Frank. "That's IT!" shouts vicious midget, shooting his fist up and connecting with -- I did check -- Luka's left cheek. He grazes it at such an angle that Luka's head still jerks to the left; it looks weird, but I think it's plausible.

The Flash of Do As I Say, Not As I Do. Abby's in the drug locker when Erin appears on an errand from Luka. She asks for a certain drug, and Abby opts to give her an alternative. "I'll ask Luka if that's okay," Erin says. "It's okay," Abby retorts firmly, a mite offended. Then she softens. "Practicing your suturing?" she asks. "Thanks for the kit," Erin replies, so that we all know why she had one on her during the accident scene. Abby pauses and chomps on her lips. Do they give her flavored lipstick or something? She's always eating her own mouth. "You know, you should be careful," Abby warns her. Erin doesn't get it, so Abby lets her know that there's gossip flying around. "There's nothing going on," Erin swears. "It's just that he's a doctor and you're a med student..." Abby trails off. Erin again denies that anything's happening, but senses Abby isn't finished. She would be right, because Abby has an inherent need to meddle and suck us back into the geometric vortex that is her pain-in-the-ass love life. "Luka tends to not think things through," Abby analyzes. Since when? Since he started drinking casually even though he's an alcoholic, and he drove away his entire family because he was so pushy? Oh, right, that was you, Nurse Wretched. "And I don't think it would be good for either of you..." Abby adds. Erin silences her by thanking her for the pills with a pointed tone and expression.

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