Hell And High Water

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: B- | 1 USERS: A+
Hell And High Water

Props to Heathen, for rocking the hizzouse, and to Sars, my new neighbour.

A long, long time ago on ER: Mark went to Doug's apartment and was surprised to find Carter's sort-of girlfriend Harper Tracy there, and Mark was all disgusted because Harper was only a medical student, so for Doug to sleep with her was unethical as well as sleazy; Harper told Carter that she and Doug did it; Carter confronted Doug about it, and Doug told Carter that, if Carter were smart, he would give Harper another chance; Jeanie introduced herself to Randi as a new physician's assistant in the ER; Jeanie asked Benton whether they could be civil; while Carol eavesdropped, Doug's boss told him his contract (or whatever) would not be renewed; Mark told Morgenstern that Doug was a good doctor, and Morgenstern argued that he's a loose cannon; Doug told Carol he'd been at County a few years, and that it was the longest commitment he'd ever made to anything, or anybody, at which he chuckled and she sort of tried to smile but didn't quite make it.

A really cloying rendition of "Three Blind Mice" (as opposed to all the totally rocking versions of the same tune recorded by the likes of Duke Ellington and Elvis Costello...okay, fine, not) tootles as we fade up from the title card to a shot, through an aquarium full of tropical fish, to the kid on the other side. We pan over a waiting room of sick kids -- the camera at the level of their faces -- so that when there's a dude sitting in the midst of them, all we can see is his torso, with his arms resting on his knees and his hands folded in front of him. The camera pans past the dude to the unfortunately beret-clad moppet on his right, who asks, "Where's your little girl?" The camera pans to the dude's face, and we see it's Doug "Lake Michigan's 11" Ross. He tells her he doesn't have a little girl. Moppet asks after his little boy, and Doug impatiently tells her, "I'm all by myself." Moppet asks whether he's sick, and Doug says he isn't. We cut to a shot of Doug, sitting on a teeny little child-sized chair, sandwiched between Moppet and another little ragamuffin in saddle shoes. Moppet asks why Doug's there, and Doug sighs loudly and sneers at her wolfishly and exposits that he's there "for a job." Moppet disgustedly asks, "You don't have a job?" Doug points to the tank and snaps, "Do you see those pretty fish over there?" Moppet asks him whether he lost his job, and before he can answer, Ragamuffin pipes up, "My daddy lost his job!" Doug faintly chuckles and looks at the floor. Moppet -- who clearly has a future in investigative journalism -- asks whether he got a new job, and Doug curtly replies, "Yes, I did -- giving big shots to little girls." Ragamuffin's face crumples and she starts sobbing at a deafeningly high pitch. As Moppet gets up and runs off, Doug gazes at the ceiling and smugly repeats, "Biiiiiiiiiiiig shots." Heh.

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