Four Corners

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Heathen: C | Grade It Now!
Four Corners

First, a lifetime of props and happy thoughts go to Wing Chun, whose recaps of this show remain beacons of humor, grace, good writing, and Goose-bashing. I can't equal what she's done, but bear with me and I'll try not to let down her loyalists. But it might take me a while to be as facile with the medical stuff. ["You'd be surprised. And, aw!" -- Wing Chun] Also, thanks to Omar G, who taped the show for me.

Last season on ER, Kerry Weaver announced her lesbianism to Dr. Romano. Benton's nephew Jesse died. Mark Greene let Bad Dad Fossen die.

A young brunette sits in her hospital bed, looking dazedly around the room and half-listening to the muffled voices of doctors and patients. She's sporting messy hair, bruises on her face and an ass-chin that puts Rose McGowan's dimple to shame. Zombie staggers through the hospital without attracting the attention of John "Get" Carter and Abby "Lisa" Lockhart, who lean against a counter while the former barks orders into a telephone and looks mighty suave in a dark suit. "Dr. Wiseman. You have a patient, Holly Evans, who was supposed to be admitted last night," Carter says authoritatively, while Abby watches him impassively. Mark "It Ain't Easy Being" Greene strolls past with his wife, Elizabeth "It Ain't Easy Doing Greene" Corday; the camera follows them, under some grand delusion that Mark might say something worth the trip. Elizabeth notes that delaying surgery could kill an unspecified "him." Mark posits, "Say he doesn't die on the table, or in post-op. We ship him back to the convenience-store alley, but this time, instead of getting beaten up, he gets eaten by dogs because he's too weak to move." Lizzie is amused. "Eaten by dogs? In Chicago?" she asks. "It happens...a lot. A cop told me," Mark insists. Time for a brain scan, pal. Randi interrupts to tell Mark he's due in Romano's office to talk about the Bad Dad Fossen case. Elizabeth too-quickly asks, "Something wrong?" Mark lies, "I don't know."

Benton intercepts Mark, who bitchily insists that he lacks the time to field questions and never so much as looks at Peter. Worried about Cleo, Benton begins quizzing Mark about whether she's experiencing any complications with medication that she's taking. Ah, but this is the prologue, so that's all we get. They walk off-screen past Abby, who is still watching Carter ream Dr. Wiseman for leaving a young girl alone for twenty hours. "Pull your thumb out, get down here, and admit your patient," barks Carter, secretly pleased that his set of You're A Big Boy Now: How To Sound Like You Really, Really Mean It subliminal self-help tapes seems to be working. He and Abby take off toward the doors, Carter prescribing a liquid diet and a gram of Cefoxatin for Holly and demanding that Abby call him the minute anything changes. "'Pull your thumb out'?" she asks wryly, suppressing a snicker at Carter's all-business attitude. Suddenly, Dr. Kerry "I'm a Les-gaspian" Weaver charges in through the lobby doors and walks between them with a quiet, matter-of-fact greeting. The duo falls silent until she passes. "Things are a little tense," Carter duhs before leaving.

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