Episode Report Card
Heathen: D+ | Grade It Now!

Previously on ER: Abby graduated from med school; Steve told Luka that Sam and Alex belong with him; Sam took a page from the book of Andy Dick and acted like the little angel clown who...that cries; Fry Cook had congestive heart failure; Kerry prepared to fight for custody of Henry; and Carter and Kem's baby became an ExCartus. It is no more. It has gone to the great beyond.

The episode opens with a woman shrieking as though she's being hollowed out with sandpaper and a wooden spoon -- the very sound my soul makes when I hear the opening credits. We see Nurse Abby preparing this woman for a shot. "I haven't started yet," Abby sighs. The woman keeps screaming. Sam pops up and asks Abby if they can swap a day next week so that Sam can go to Alex's parent-teacher conference on Monday. If she's smart, she'll switch a few days, because with Alex as the subject, that little confab could stretch well into Wednesday afternoon. "Find another nurse," calls out an eavesdropping Weaver, who -- excepting the Henry stuff -- has officially been relegated to window-dressing because all she does is overhear things and then use the information to act like a ho bitch. "Can't have one of our interns changing bedpans during their residency," Weaver says, abusing grammar like it's one of her employees. Abby lightly coughs that she's technically not an intern, because she's still waiting to hear whether she passed her boards. Weaver crabs that Abby really should've called the USMLE by now; Abby blinks, because it never occurred to her to come into voluntary contact with anything whose name is so close to being a direct order to break into a grin, or otherwise act happy. "OW OW OW OW OW," Abby's patient is still screaming. "It's multiple choice, for God's sake. It's not rocket science," Weaver crabs, speaking of the test scoring but possibly also underhandedly cutting down Abby's performance on the test. Abby finishes treating the screaming woman, who immediately stops squalling and sighs, "You're God's gift to nursing, you know that?" Abby rips off her gloves and returns to Sam, agreeing to switch their schedules. "I thought you were starting," Sam says, confused. "Not 'til I pass my boards," Abby reminds her. "Can't quit my day job."

Neela saunters in, dressed up in a pink shirt and black blazer, looking formal and a tad stiff, but nice. "I thought you left already," Abby says, surprised. Neela stacks up a bunch of books, explaining that orientation doesn't start until the afternoon, giving her time to do productive things in the morning -- returning her microscope to the lab, turning in keys, selling her textbooks, and generally snaring as much screen time as she can get in this final episode. Abby marvels that Neela's not using her last day of freedom to sleep in, or go to a movie, or something else that the young people term "fun." However, she's forgotten that Neela wouldn't know "fun" if it wrapped itself in medical jargon and put itself between the pages of a Cardiology tome. Abby asks whether Neela's found a place yet; she hasn't, but she figures she'll look once she gets out there. Right, like it's that easy. This is all just to show us that Neela didn't match at County.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP