Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magic

Episode Report Card
Heathen: C+ | Grade It Now!
Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magic

So, it's 9:58 PM. Time for ER. I flip the channel, and my finger hovers over the record button -- until I realize the episode has already started. Two. Minutes. Early. Actually, more, because I've missed the "Previously" segment and am straight inside the show. This freaks me out. I'm so agitated, in fact, that I think a Snickers bar is in order.

By the time my middle finger has retracted from its default "bird" position, and it occurs to me to actually hit "record," we're right at the end of a scene with Benton and his sister. It seems he needs Jackie to watch Reese while he works, and she accepts despite reservations about whether she's emotionally ready to care for a little boy again. Peter thanks her, signs goodbye to Reese, and kisses a shaky-looking Jackie. I love Khandi Alexander, because she was so acerbic and short-skirt risqué on Newsradio, yet she's been excellent in so many other, deeper roles since.

Heavy metal blasts through Carter's headphones. He's chillin' with Gamma, rockin' out at the manse, sweatin' with an oldie. She checks to make sure Carter is okay, and offers him aspirin. "What you need is to see my orthopedist," she clucks. Carter condescends that he doesn't need her silly doctor, and besides, he's got a half-shift to work that afternoon. "Your back is nothing to trifle with," Gamma advises. "You don't want to end up with a hunch like Uncle Everett." Shooting her an Old People are So Goofy look, Carter reminds her that this is adult back pain -- he got stabbed once, dontcha know, and he figures this is a residual twinge. Gamma pours her grandson a cup of water with which to pop aspirin, but her hand jerks subtly and she drops the glass anvil, which shatters. Carter offers to clean up, but she rightly tells him to buzz off because he's not wearing shoes. Carter decides he's got flesh of rubber, and stands up to clean the ground, and it's sort of a shame my VCR didn't miss this scene too.

In Luka's apartment, Abby "Unbreak My" Lockhart rifles through some boxes in search of her belongings. A Cake song, "Short Skirt and Long Product-Placement Segment," blares in the background, because the kids today love the rock and roll music. Abby drops a sweater into her cardboard box balanced on her hip, grabs coffee and her purse, and shuts off the stereo -- and then decides to snag a couple CDs from the rack. Passing the coatrack, she impatiently rips a jacket from it and tips the stand over in her haste; swearing, she sets everything on the ground and goes to right it, at which point she notices a crack in the fishtank. "Sh..." she says, as the credits kick in before she tops the thought off with a common two-letter pronoun. This chicanery may infringe on a David E. Kelley patent of some kind.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP