ER
Abby Normal

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Abby Normal

Kem plays with a mobile that's hanging over the crib in the nursery. Carter struggles through the door with a giant present, which is apparently from everyone in the ER. "I was hoping for a puppy," Carter quips. "But I don't see any air holes." They open it; it's another crib. Carter jokingly asks if she's having twins, and then tells her he has to go to a board meeting at the old mansion. "Oh my God, John, we're having a boy," Kem frown-whines, also managing to work some awe into it. She can't believe it, and wonders if they really thought it through. Carter figures they didn't, but that they didn't overthink and overplan and analyze it to death, either, and that's why he thinks it's right. "This is a life that we're responsible for. You and me," Kem says, earnestly. Maybe she should eat something, then, so that she doesn't look quite so much like she's a slim woman who ate a few too many Whoppers that afternoon. "We're ready," he insists. Then he invites her to Gamma's mansion for the meeting, which doesn't interest her one iota -- not even when he entices her by suggesting she'll ruffle some feathers -- until she finds out she'll get to meet the elusive Pa Carter, a.k.a. Stephen Keaton.

Abby and Ken The Social Worker are interviewing Seizure Mom and her husband to get a sense of what their situation is. They're really tired of answering questions about the state of their marriage, and so have the demeanor of defensive people who want the doctors to get lost up a tree. Apparently, Nick is self-employed, so he's home to help change diapers, although they would like to be able to afford a nanny. Ken asks if Seizure Mom is concerned about her ability to care for her daughter, and Seizure Mom snaps with disgust, "What do you think? As long as I'm sick, I can't hold her. Can't take care of her." Ken nods, "So you do want to get better." She hates the question; Abby interjects in a soft tone that sometimes people who get sick feel safer at a hospital and prefer to stay there. Nick insists that his wife wants to get better and go home. "You're one of those people who think I'm faking," Seizure Mom accuses Abby sadly. "That's what you all think." Abby insists that isn't true. "Then how come you can't fix it?" Seizure Mom asks.

Cut to Ken telling Abby that treating Seizure Mom as an outpatient is dicey because he'd have to file a report with the state. He also thinks it's a danger to the baby, because Seizure Mom might have an episode while holding or feeding, or being otherwise solely responsible for the baby. "She's not a child abuser," Abby bristles, sniffing that if it were an epileptic patient, he wouldn't be so stringent and by-the-book, but he insists that he would be. Abby then gets him to agree that if the woman's seizures are under control by the time she'd be discharged and the state would need to investigate, he won't push the paperwork. Ken is more than happy to save himself the sheaf of loose-leaf.

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