Abby Normal

Episode Report Card
Heathen: C | Grade It Now!
Abby Normal

Sam sashays into the lounge and encounters Luka. "How you doing?" she asks brightly. "Good," he says, swiftly asking after Alex because he and Sam don't really have any shared experiences to talk about right this minute because Contrivance hammered between them a chubby, stubbly wedge named Steve. "He wants to know if you've gotten that plasma screen yet," she smiles. "Not yet," Luka says. Except that we know he already has one. Way to go, writers. And don't try claiming that he sold it before he decided not to return to Africa, because it's way more fun thinking that you screwed up. Sam takes a breath and apologizes for not calling, blaming it on "still figuring things out with Steve." She pretends she's sure he's not staying much longer, although maybe I'm not giving her enough credit, and she then swears they're not "together" or anything of a genitally bonding ilk. "He sleeps on the couch," she says lamely to a silent, stoic Luka. As is her wont, apparently, Abby interrupts this awkward moment. "How's it going?" she asks, uncharacteristically upbeat. "Never better," Luka says through clenched teeth, slamming the door of his locker.

Kem and Carter arrive at their new townhouse. "What'd you do?" she asks, smiling. "Not much," he says. The place seems to be in some disarray; I can't really tell, but it looks like he's been trying to get it furnished for her, but a lot of his stuff is still in boxes around the living room. Carter can't wait to show Kem the nursery. "Did you operate the screwdriver yourself, Mr. Fix-It?" she asks lightly. Of course he did, Kem. How else did he get you pregnant? "So this is our home?" she asks, and the look on her face is inscrutable. If I had to guess, I'd say she looks wary. And she sounds as excited as if Carter offered to make her a Knob Salad for dinner.

Abby somehow manages to re-enter the lounge that we hadn't seen her leave yet; this time, instead of stumbling in on clumsy sexual tension, she interrupts some rampant heartstring-tugging, as Kerry is cooing and coddling little Henry. Kerry reveals that Florina is coming to take him away. Abby offers to come get Kerry when Florina arrives, but Kerry deflects her efforts a few times. "I'm not sure I can do this," she finally blurts, looking up at Abby with helpless eyes. "I know this part sucks, but he's gonna end up with you," Abby says. Oh, good. No reason to make us sit through the custody battle, then, right?

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