Abby Normal

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Heathen: C | Grade It Now!
Abby Normal

With apologies for the massive digression: this past weekend, I was standing on a giant field at the Coachella music festival waiting for The Flaming Lips to begin its set. Idly I swung my head to the right and noticed that only one small man separated me from Abraham Benrubi, a.k.a. lovable desk clerk Jerry. Yes, I live in Los Angeles, and yet in the middle of a giant sea of people -- in the desert, of all places -- I saw my first ER cast member. Because I have no balls, though, and because I didn't want to be That Freak, I didn't walk up to him and ask if he reads the site, or even shake his hand and commend him on how consistently endearing he is on the show, or compliment him on his nipple. No, all I did was laugh. So, Abraham Benrubi, if you are reading this, and you remember the 5'5" pale girl with a reddish ponytail in a blue tank top who was standing more or less next to you while singing "Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots, Pt. 1," then: Hey! That was me! Hi. And now back to the regularly scheduled recap, written before the aforementioned Coachella incident.

Welcome to another installment of, "Recapping On-The-Go: How To Hamper Yourself As Much As Possible." This time, I'm coming to you live from the Oakland airport, operating on only three hours of mediocre sleep, staring down the barrel of a four-hour layover, and about to face the notes I took last night while exhausted, lingering in a food coma, and quite possibly drunk. Will they be relatively unintelligible? Yes. Am I cranky? Yes. Am I sitting next to two water fountains and the men's room door because that's where the only discernible outlet is in this godforsaken terminal? Yes.

Previously on Execrable Recapping, I swear, my notes say, "Ke gome, neela says, seizure girl freaks." What I believe that means is: Kem left Chicago but planned to return for the Cartus's birth, Neela lamented that everyone thinks she's better suited to a research lab, and Seizure Mom...well, had a seizure; however, that could be a string of pretentiously and deliberately uncapitalized titles on my forthcoming alternative rock album entitled twee e. cummings. Also, Sam's ex showed up, we met Poindexter and Yuri, Abby failed her boards, Abby started her Psych rotation, and Kerry fought to get Henry for one weekend. Good God, that was a chopped salad of a previously-on -- who the hell wrote that?

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