A Walk in the Woods

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: C | 1 USERS: A+
A Walk in the Woods

Okay, sidebar: there's already been some debate about the alleged connection between vaccinations and autism on the forums. I don't know anything about this issue, because I'm not a parent, and I have all my shots. But I will say that no one should base any medical decisions as great as that one on anything you read on the internet. I know that's not the only place Mrs. Woodman said she found the information that convinced her not to immunize her kids. (I also know she's only pretend.) But I see this kind of thing on the Hissyfit boards all the time: someone starts a thread in the Health and Wellness forum saying something like, "I have this hard mass in my breast and when I squeezed it, this phosphorescent green slime oozed out and some of it fell on the bathroom countertop and burned a hole straight down to the apartment downstairs. Do any of y'all know what that might be?" And then ten people will hop on with their theories until someone -- generally before I even get there, thank god -- suggests, "Um. Why not ask a doctor?" The internet is the biggest source of misinformation and quackery in the world. I also think it's ludicrous that a school -- even a pre-school that is presumably not under the purview of the public school board -- wouldn't require proof that its students had been immunized. Last fall Sars applied for graduate school at a private university; they almost didn't admit her because she had a hard time finding proof that all of her immunizations were up to date. And she's a grown-up, and presumably would be around other grown-ups who weren't so susceptible to childhood diseases. So, in conclusion, I don't really buy all of this, but I will say, again, don't believe anything you read on the internet, especially not about your or your loved one's health.

So, Lisa, Carter, and Mrs. Woodman hurry into Zack's trauma room, where he's in the process of crashing. Chen says that he's getting cyanotic. Mrs. Woodman begs for someone to translate the jargon, and Carter curtly says that the virus has done so much lung damage that no oxygen can get through to his bloodstream. She asks what they're going to do, and Carter says that they're going to intubate him. She whines, "You have to put him on a machine to breathe?" Carter snottily snaps, "If we don't intubate him right now, he's going to die." Mrs. Woodman bites her lip some more. Carter moves toward Zack's head, where Chen's got the tube in her hands and at the ready. He tells her he'll do it; she insists that she's got it. He penises, "Not on your first day back. Step out, doctor." She starts to protest, and he repeats, "Step out, doctor." Lisa says that Zack's throwing PVCs. Carter successfully intubates Zack (and it takes forever). Chen, listening with her stethoscope, reports good breath sounds bilaterally. Mrs. Woodman tries to pretend to cry. They hook Zack up to a respirator. Mrs. Woodman querulously asks, "He's okay now?" Carter, on his way out, dicks, "Yeah, sure. He's great." Carter, for the love of all that is good and pure, shut your ass the fuck up.

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