A Walk in the Woods

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: C | 1 USERS: A+
A Walk in the Woods

One segment = two hours. Dude, I am so dead.

Elizabeth is at the ER desk when Mark strolls up like the cock of the...ER. Frankly. Because that's what he's always looked like to me -- a big penis. I may have mentioned that before. Anyway, she says hi to him and asks how it went. Mark -- breathlessly, like he's trying to curb his excitement -- says that it was fine. "'Fine'?" she repeats. "That's it?" Mark elaborates, "I laid down. They shot a couple billion more rads into my skull, and then I left." "And that's it?" she asks. Mark makes a lame joke about his "irradiated head" and the navigational equipment on airplanes, but it's too stupid to repeat. Elizabeth looks like she's going to cry, and then starts sloppily making out with him, I guess out of relief. Gross. She says she has to go, and invites him to have lunch. He says he'll have lunch with her if he can, and that she should come find him. She takes off. "Dr." Dave Malucci, eavesdropping on the entire exchange, ambles over and asks Mark to confirm that his radiation treatment is over; Mark says it is, but that there'll be two more weeks of immune therapy. Dr. Dave says that's great. Frank tries, and fails, to get Mark's attention. Dr. Dave asks, "Did they give you the tumour back?...When they took it out, did they give it back to you? Because my Uncle Al, he's got his on the mantel in a jar." In the pause that ensues after this revelation, Frank tells Mark there's a guy waiting to speak with him. Mark, walking off, tells Dr. Dave, "I don't really want a tumour on my mantel." Tumour on my Mantel -- the title of my third album.

Mark introduces himself to a guy by the ambulance bay. The guy says his name is Robert Wilson, and asks whether there's someplace they may speak. Mark says that he's on duty. Wilson says that it would be better if they could speak in private. Mark starts to ask Mr. Wilson what he wants, but Wilson corrects him: "Dr. Wilson." Mark asks what he wants, and Wilson says, "I work for the Illinois Department of Professional Regulation." He lowers his voice to add, "We've been asked to evaluate your competency to continue practicing medicine." Mark stares at him real hard -- and the squinting does not help to make him look any less penile.

Carter, Chen, and Finch all gaze through the window of what is presumably the laminar flow room of which Carter spoke earlier. Carter and Chen are in scrubs now; I don't know if we're supposed to think that the measles is so contagious that they took off their street clothes and burned them, or something. Anyway, Finch is asking where Zack got measles, and Carter says he thinks it was in Paris, since Mrs. Woodman was recently there on business. Finch, all audience surrogate, asks, "Is she some fringe lunatic -- thinks immunizations are a conspiracy between doctors and drug companies?" Geez, Finch, why not ask her yourself? Make sure to use those words, too. Chen quietly says she doesn't think so. Finch instructs them, "Talk to the mom. Find out if there are other kids at home, where the child's been, anyone he's had contact with over the last week." Carter takes off to do so.

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