North Star

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B- | Grade It Now!
Blazing Furrows
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!
So, lots of mixed reviews I can see. I liked it. I loved the beautiful and interesting camera work, and the costuming was awesome. Quantum's hat hid most of his furrows, he looked damn foine in that duster, and the plot was actually fairly well thought-out and compelling. Guess there's truth to all those alien abduction stories after all, huh? HOWEVER, what I didn't like was yet another opportunity for T'Pol to Bo-Flex her Vulcan strength, and yet...nothing! See, I think it's hateful the way Bermaga consistently pawn T'Pol off as the Weak Female who needs a fainting couch shoved under her ass and smelling salts shoved up her nose, when she could kick all their asses 'til Tuesday and still have enough breath to sing "Voices Carry." And as much as I liked the clothes, I would have appreciated just one SIMPLE, THROWAWAY line explaining how they got the hats and the guns. Even if it was only Trip nursing a secret sewing obsession where he makes elaborate Broadway costumes in his down time -- something!

It's Wednesday and it's time for you! To unclog your bathroom sink with a hanger.

Before we begin, I'd like to pause for a Moment of Wonder. Was this episode a response to how many times I've described Bakula's acting as John Wayne-y? Think about that for a moment. Also, someone in the forums mentioned that a few weeks ago I begged, "A horse! A horse! My boredom for a horse!" and look what they gave me. Now think about that for a moment. Okay, now don't think, just watch.

Some riders of the purple sage gallop through a darkened town and shove a noose around a man's neck. Can I just pause for a moment here and say that I actually saw purple sage the other day at the San Francisco Farmer's Market? Let me tell you, I was im-pressed. This state has everything -- herbs the color of the rainbow, alcohol delivered to your door every day of the week, and a psycho robot killer for a governor. When asked if he has any last words, the man, who looks like he bears the blisters of an alien, says, "Go to hell." Instead of the predicted response of, "You first," the leader of the pack comments, "Didn't know Skags believed in hell," and fires a gun. All the horses, including the one under the noosed man, gallop off. We see the legs of the hanged man writhe for a bit and then go still. Ouch.

Someone should put a noose around that damn song and fire a pistol. I'd like to see it writhe.

Has anyone been able to make sense of these recent episode titles? "Lone Star" might have actually made more sense for this one, even if Quantum and Qrew make reference that they come from "up North." How about the other ones? "Twilight"? Because Quantum was in the twilight of his life? I don't get it.

Dusty shot of desert. The dead man stands upright in a plywood box. A black cowboy hat asks who's paying for the box. The other black cowboy hat gestures to a woman in one of those homespun print dresses with a round lace collar that Dr. Quinn has on perpetual order from Garnet Hill. The first black hat says he hopes she's not planning on burying the dead guy in the cemetery. "His kind don't bury their dead. But I wouldn't expect you to know that," Homespun retorts. I wonder what they do with their dead. Burn them on pyres? Embalm and entomb? Stuff and keep them around as knickknacks? Inquiring minds wanna know. Black Hat apologizes for not being able to stop the murder and treat the guy to a trial instead. Homespun crabs that the same guys who lynched him would have been the twelve angry men, so the end result is the same. Black Hat reminds her, "He killed a man. Self-defense or not, that's a hanging offense for a Skag." Black Hat, who might be the sheriff in this here town, sounds like Wilfred Brimley. I keep thinking he's going to try to sell me cholesterol-reducing Quaker Oatmeal, or something for his diabetes.

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