Fall Pilot Season: Eleventh Hour

by Mindy Monez October 10, 2008
Eleventh Hour Premiere

High speed pursuit in the North Cascades of Seattle, according to the chyron, which is code for "highway in the middle of nowhere." A pickup truck is being chased by several cop cars, sirens a-blazin' and a helpful shot of one of the officers on his radio reporting, "In pursuit of tan pickup. Refuses to stop." clears up any confusion for the mentally deficient members of the audience. Oh, and who is that driving the pickup? It's Jimmi Simpson, one half of the hilariously demented McPoyle twins from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia! He chants some creepy Latin (sounds like "Mea culpa") over and over again, and then looks over on the seat next to him at a jar labeled "Biohazard" with a crucifix draped around it, and just like you or I would, promptly chucks it out the truck window. As we all know, tossing it to the side of the road is the industry standard way to dispose of biohazardous materials. This guy's either a terrorist or a litterbug; either way, I want the FBI on it! Distracted by the biohazard-in-a-crucifix's-clothing chucking, he narrowly avoids a head-on collision with a semi, but doesn't have such good luck with a tree, which he smashes into and flies out his front windshield. Ouch!

One of the deputies pulls over and walks up to the chucked biohazard and, I swear to God, just opens it up and sticks his nose in it, like it's a damn jar of tarter sauce. He pretty much wants to barf at the sight and smell of whatever it is he's seeing, and has this expression like, "I totally did not expect this!" Ahh, TV cops. God love 'em.

Now we're in the woods with a biohazard team and a whole lot of police, who windshield man is guiding to the shallow graves of even more of these barf-inducing containers. He confirms to a man I can only assume is a detective because he's wearing a fancy winter coat and not a biohazard suit or police uniform that they got them all, all 19 to be exact. 19 of what? "19 containers, 19 fetuses." Gah! Fancy coat man does not have the luxury of being grossed out right now, because somebody from Washington wants to see him in the evidence tent. And this is going to get juicy, because if there's one thing cops hate more than jars of fetuses in the forest, it's Feds.

In the evidence tent Rufus Sewell is looking at slides of some brown rectangular nonsense, with the adorable Marley Shelton lurking around in the background. She establishes that she is the muscle here by tripping fancy coat man and sticking her firearm in his face, for walking into the tent too fast. That's poor camping etiquette, fancy coat man. He explains that he's Detective McNeil, and that he's in charge of the case and she lets him up, apologizing for the macho display. Rufus Sewell greets the detective with an efficient "Good Morning," and introduces himself as Dr. Jacob Hood, Special Science Advisor to the F.B.I., and Marley Shelton as Special Agent Rachel Young. She doesn't do science, I guess. The detective incredulously asks, "Science advisor?!" like it's just the craziest thing he's ever heard. Hood explains that he was hired to investigate crimes "of a scientific nature." Well, I don't see why not, so let's move on.

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