Ed
Youth Bandits

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Youth Bandits

Nancy, Mike, Molly, the mysterious Jim, and Ed are bowling. Mike is up. Ed is holding the evil baby Sara in his lap, and he tells Mike and Nancy that the evil baby wants to have a meeting with them. Molly comments on the upcoming "wacky baby hijinks," and I think one of the writers was probably protesting the inclusion of this scene and insisted that line be inserted. Ed squishes the evil baby's cheeks together to make it look like she is talking, using an Edward G. Robinson voice. He has her say that she wants steak for dinner from now on, and that she's sick of Molly and Jim being all lovey-dovey. The scary part is that the evil baby does not move a muscle throughout. How many kids do you know who would let you do that? I think they have her drugged. It's just creepy. Ed hands the evil baby back to Nancy as Carol enters. Ed proclaims that Carol can be on Mike's team. Mike complains that he's already strapped with Nancy. Nancy protests that she's a fine bowler, and Mike retorts, "Who said I was talking about bowling?" Nancy waves goodbye as she says, "Oh, look, honey! There goes what little chance you had of having sex tonight." Okay, heh, but also that was an overshare. Everyone laughs uncomfortably, except Carol. Ed asks her what's wrong. Carol just read in the paper that Larry Parker died. Everyone looks stunned. Mike takes his turn anyway. Everyone look at him. He asks if you're not supposed to bowl after you find out that someone died, and adds that it was his turn. What a doofus.

Terrible, terrible theme song. It makes me depressed.

Carol reads the article in the paper, which explains in great detail that Larry Parker died in a car accident, and that he is survived by his wife and son. Everyone looks sad. Jim asks who Larry Parker was. Ed explains that they all went to high school with the guy, but that Ed hadn't spoken to him since graduation. Neither had Mike. Carol says that she dated Larry's older brother for a few years. Molly asks whether Ed and Mike were in "that geeky band" with Larry, and Nancy remembers it as well. Mike and Ed try to change the subject. Molly guesses that the band's name was either "Youthful Dimensions" or "Band of Youth." The guys admit that the band's name was The Youth Bandits. Carol muses that Larry was only thirty-two, and had a wife and kids. Ed says that life has a way of sucking sometimes. Wow, now I'm depressed.

Cut to Warren moaning that he blew it with Jessica. Mark is all dressed up in a serape and sombrero, with a fake moustache. Diane asks what's up with Mark and Spanish Club, and Mark says, "I work hard. I play hard." Warren wants attention. Diane says that Warren is pathetic, and she knew that Jessica didn't have a good time on their date because she is "a boring, shallow airhead who would rather hang out with her boring, shallow airhead friends." Then why did Diane want to help Warren go out with Jessica at all? Besides the obvious reasoning that she loves him. Anyway, Warren protests that Jessica is not those things, and Diane blames his perception on testosterone. Warren moans that Jessica is just like them. Mark disagrees, because everyone wants Jessica, and the last time a woman wanted him was "when [his] grandmother spent three days believing [he] was Efrem Zimbalist Jr." Funny line, but ew. Warren says that he and Jessica were clicking, and then he "inadvertently implied that [he] was happy that she wasn't a bitch." Diane suggests that he talk to her, and Warren says that he tried, but she's written him off, so he needs to make "a grand gesture of apology." Diane looks skeptical, while Mark asks who Efrem Zimbalist Jr is, anyway. Do you think Diane and Mark are a little sick of hearing Warren gripe about Jessica?

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