Ed
The World of Possibility

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The World of Possibility

Back at the bowling alley, Shirley reveals to Ed that she has finished with the "S" in "Stuckey Bowl." Ed wants to see it. Shirley leads him to the alleys with her hand over his eyes. When he pulls the hand away, America (and parts of Canada) are shown the letter "S." Pretty anti-climactic if you're a fan of television shows that actually rely on plots to keep the viewer's attention. Ed's not impressed, but realizes that you have to handle Shirley with kid gloves, so he begins to gush over the "S." Shirley stops him with the hilarious line, "Are you hitting on me?" It may not be funny reading it here, but trust me, I about lost a testicle laughing at that one.

We're back at Nancy, Mike, and Ed's house as Nancy is complaining about the nanny, Kendra. Nancy is becoming traumatized because she thinks Sara the Baby likes Kendra the Nanny better than Nancy the Mommy. Mike consoles her, and they began to make out. Ed sits there for a creepily alarming amount of time before he excuses himself from the smutfest.

Back at the bowling alley, Phil walks into Ed's office and begins pouring salt on the floor and unleashes the best line of the night: "Check out the flow on this son of a bitch," as salt falls all over Ed's floor. Ed stares at him, dumbfounded, when Phil says, "There's someone here to see you." Ed practically trips over himself to see Fat Molly standing there instead of Carol. Ah well. Here's a paintbrush, Mollster. Start dabbing.

We then get a goofy montage of Ed and his friends painting the bowling alley while Marshall Crenshaw's "Someday Someway" plays. While everyone paints, Phil is meticulously trying out different salt shakers and their durability. Have I mentioned that I love Phil more than Ed? Ed could die in a fiery plane crash tomorrow, the show could change its name to Phil and move to Thursday nights, and NBC could charge half-a-million bucks for thirty seconds of commercial space. I guaranfuckintee it or my name isn't Brad F'n Pitt.

Carol finally shows up for the paint party after the party has pretty much wound down. She asks to speak to Ed outside. They kinda sorta argue as Carol tries to make it quite clear to Ed that she's in love with Nick, and the only reason she kissed Ed twice and offered him a chance to lick figure eights on her inner thighs is because she was caught up in some "moments." Just as the argument starts to get interesting, who should drive up but Stuckeyville Stan, everyone's favorite magician with one foot in the grave. Carol totally freaks out and admits to having a crush on Stan when she was eight years of age. She was so infatuated with him that she wrote all about him in her diary in 1978. Alright...for the sake of argument, we'll say Stan is about eighty years old. Twenty-two years ago, he would have been fifty-eight-years old. Now...what normal little eight-year-old girl would fantasize about a fifty-eight-year-old hack magician?? As my good friend Chief Iron Scrotum would say, "Me thinkum Carol got big crazy head problem."

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Ed

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