Episode Report Card
Kim: D | Grade It Now!
Revamped? More like ReCrapped

Cut to a locker room where Derek asks about the boxing thing, and the girl says that it's "great for relieving the body of stress." She asks if he is still "chasing things that go bump in the night." Derek says he "makes a living at that circus" and the girl points out that "Adam never saw a dime when his name was on it." Derek says that Adam wasn't about the money. The girl looks at him for a while, and Derek's all, "What?" and she's all, "I forgot how much you two look alike." Like, duh! They're identical (I assume) twins! Derek asks "Chloe" if she's ever heard the word "Croatoan." Chloe grabs her stuff and starts to book out of there, like maybe she just took an American history class like the rest of us, and that's where she heard it. Chloe tells him to "stay away" and Derek says that he knows it's hard for her, but that he wouldn't have come if it wasn't important.

At Chloe's apartment, Derek shows her a printout of the video of Adam, and says that he had Lan run "video scans" and the video hasn't been tampered with. Well, I'm convinced. Chloe thinks it's a hoax and the "Internet freaks" are screwing with his head. Derek reveals that the night Adam died, Derek "had a vision" that he can't explain.

Cut to later that evening, where Chloe is showing Derek some research Adam did about the Roanoke colony, a group of settlers brought over from Europe by John White in 1587. John White sailed back to England for supplies and left the settlers at Roanoke, departing only a few days after his granddaughter, Virginia Dare (a.k.a. first English child born in what would become America), was born. Throughout this explanation, we see a cheesy re-enactment of the proceedings, but I'm going to ignore it and stay with Chloe's voice-over. Trust me on this one. When John White returned four years later, the camp was deserted, and one hundred fifteen people had vanished without a trace. There was no evidence that the colonists were absorbed into local Indian tribes. Well, that's not exactly true, but I'll go with the show's revisionist history. Chloe says that the fate of the Roanoke colony is "the Holy Grail of urban legends." As my boyfriend pointed out, isn't the Holy Grail the Holy Grail of urban legends? Derek asks about the word "Croatoan," and Chloe replies that it's an island near the settlement, and White found the word carved into a tree, so he thought maybe the settlers fled there, but "he never had a chance to go there." "Didn't have a chance"? No, I didn't have a chance to finish this recap yesterday. But if my entire family disappeared, I don't think "didn't have a chance" would come into play.

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