Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: C- | Grade It Now!
I Bring You... FIRE!
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Yet another festival? Geez, Eastwick has a lot of festivals. This one is Halloween-related. Remember that: this show is set the day before Halloween. It doesn't really come up, but I wanted to make sure you remembered it anyway. Roxie is giving a tour of Witch's Field, which is where 158 witches were burned to death in the Eastwick Witch Trials. This city sure celebrates its horrific past, doesn't it? Roxie's improvising the tour, because Bun is still a bit amnesiac. And she's coming along on the tour anyway, which is weird. I guess the idea is that exposing her to aspects of her life will help her remember it. Roxie directs everyone's attention to the festively decorated caskets, which apparently contain metaphorical demons to be burned up.

Darryl shows up as his minions bring in a coffin for the pyre. He and Roxie trade some vague sexual innuendo, and Bun kind of freaks out. She's scared, but she doesn't know why. Then Roxie hustles everyone back to the tour bus. But before they get there, Roxie gets another vision of herself and Mia at the funeral she saw last episode. Everyone thinks she's crazy. Except Bun, who calls the tourists ninnies and says "Can't you see that she's just been to a funeral?!"

Joanna is on her couch, eating ice cream from the carton and watching television. Sweet. She's mopey about losing her job and apparently feels bad about running Pastor Dunn out of town. "So, big whoop, he likes whores!" is her new attitude, as she explains to Kat, who's staying there too. She also feels bad about making Will hate her. Kat thinks if Joanna just apologizes to Will, everything will be fine. Say, whatever happened to those magic Hypno-eyes? Kat promises that Will will come around, and Roxie (who showed up at some point during this paragraph) adds "If he doesn't, I'll kick him in the taint!" Lovely. Joanna reluctantly agrees to give it a try.

Penny has a scene! She's trying to psyche herself up for waxing her armpits. She's interrupted by her secret Darryl Van Horne source, Jamie, the British guy who lives above Roxie's shop. She blames him for getting Joanna fired, because of all that false information she printed. Penny tells Jamie she will no longer be having sex with him (did that happen in the episode I missed, or is it new? Note to self: watch that episode, or at least find a site that has recaps -- hang on, I think I just had a brilliant idea). Penny rips out her wax paper.

Roxie and Bun are in Roxie's kitchen. Bun is willing to admit that she might possibly have read Roxie mind, and maybe she might have psychic powers. But she isn't willing to admit that she's always had them, since she can't remember more than a few weeks back. After being pressed on the details Bun says the funeral was for "your friend, because of the statue," and Roxie rushes out.

Joanna sneaks into the Gazette to say hello to Penny and try to win Will's heart. Will doesn't seem that surprised to see her, nor does he seem particularly interested. As she starts stammering out her speech, he interrupts her to tell her he forgives her. But he will not be giving her another chance, because he's moved on. (Penny: "Aw, snap!") Will evades the question a bit, so Joanna uses the Hypno-eyes to make him tell her who the Other Woman is. He admits that it's only a hope, and that it's her friend Kat. He leaves, and Penny gloats a little: "See? I told you not to trust those crazy bitches." She backs off a bit after Joanna glares at her.

Darryl poses before his giant statue (it looks nice!) while Fidel, his enormous mute butler (he's mute, you know!) and a tiny minion I don't recognize take his picture with one of those old-timey cameras that involves the photographer standing under a black cloth and holding up a tray covered in flash powder. Roxie rushes in and shoves Darryl out of the way just before the statue falls, which would presumably have crushed him. Roxie is very excited to have possibly altered the course of fate. Darryl is just pleased that Roxie's straddling him during all this. Fidel calls over Darryl (mutely) to draw his attention to a broken bolt. It seems that Chad bolted the statue down incorrectly, so Darryl fires him angrily. Then he considers moving the statue to the Eastwick Inn.

At the hospital, Joanna confronts Kat in the middle of folding sheets. Joanna is angry that Kat knew Will had a thing for her, and Kat accidentally admits that she kissed him. Joanna is convinced that Kat insists that she didn't think Will would reject Joanna and that she has zero feelings for Will. This whole time, Mrs. Greenberg (an old lady in the next bed) is interjecting things, and Kat tells her to butt out or lose her Jell-O privileges. Kat tells Joanna that the last thing she wanted to do was hurt her, and Joanna stalks out.

Mia enters Josh's room and apologizes for that scene last episode where she said she didn't want to be seen with him. He doesn't accept her apology, because this is the kind of show where people don't accept apologies. He is able to interrupt his XBOX game long enough to ask what she's doing for Halloween. He suggests they put on costumes and go trick-or-treating, which she treats like the dumbest, most stupid suggestion ever.

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