The Blood is the Life

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B | 71 USERS: B
Meet Vlad the Impresario

And now, a night at the opera. You know how on Facebook, the people whose relationships are usually the most unhappy are the same ones who constantly post photos and status updates on how blessed they are because they loooooooooooove their best friend? Mina is doing the nineteenth-century version of that at Jonathan, thereby guaranteeing she'll never successfully wield a scalpel. Lady Jayne and her breasts have a very nice box seat. And as assorted operatic goings-on commence, Alex pops into Lady Jayne's box and invites her to join him in the back, and they promptly get down to business. But he watches Mina the whole time, so it's kind of creepy.

We also find out from Lords Laurent and Davenport that Alex has been busy on the business front: "Sir Clive not a day on the ground, and Grayson descends on his widow like a bird of prey. Locked up Clive's entire block of Imperial Coolant … He purchased the paper on Clive's gambling debts and threatened to sue the estate, so you see, she had no choice but to trade the stock in order to avoid a scandal." Davenport dismisses the whole thing because it's not as if Alex has a controlling interest. Which, you know, broadcasts exactly where Alex is going with this. I sincerely hope we get to see more of Lord Laurent freaking out in the future.

Alex is spying on all this when he gets an arrow to the thigh and realizes that Herr Kruger's there and ready to kill him. But Herr Kruger is no match for a vampire's speed and strength. After Alex slits his throat, he quotes, "Thou died fair and well, brother huntsman killed/ Impaled the hearts of many beasts, before thine own was stilled." Then he sends Kruger to his death by cheerily informing him that Dracula's coming for the order of the dragon.

And now, the scene that had me cackling in derision. Lady Jayne is training with sandbags and swords – in spandex and cleave, natch – while a lady vampire in a cage heckles her. Jayne coolly says, "There's fates for your kind a lot worse than death, and I know them all. How long do you think it's going to take this [iron cage] to rust at the bottom of a lake? Years? Decades?" Vampirella is stone-cold unafraid, however.

Alex has limped into his study and is pouring himself a drink when he hears something and pulls his ivory-handled sword. He says, "I was wondering when you'd make an appearance." Van Helsing steps out of the shadows and says, "The plan was to leverage Sir Clive's gambling debts against his interests, not his widow's." Alex shrugs that he saw an opportunity, but Van Helsing upbraids him: "It was impetuous and careless." Alex says, "It got the job done," and Van Helsing testily inquires, "How many times must I explain the difference between a vendetta and vengeance? This cannot become a war of attrition. The Order Draco is like the hydra. Cut off a head, they grow two to replace it … you know the only way to crush them is to wipe out the source of their power, their vast wealth. For over a decade, we've schemed and built this empire of lies. I will not have our work undone by your lack of discipline!"

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