The Blood is the Life

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B | 71 USERS: B
Meet Vlad the Impresario

And now, the horse-and-buggy equivalent of a traffic jam as the crème de la crème of London society show up to see who this American with the fancy gadgets is. (Well, it beats an evening of showing to see which daughter of a Gilded Age tycoon is going to buy herself a title via marriage.) Inside the manse, the party's in full swing, people are dancing with the kind of choreography that suggests life is just one big, incoherent Baz Luhrmann film, and we're getting introduced to more series regulars. They are …

… Mina, Jonathan Harker (journalist, social activist, total snooze) and her floozy cousin Lucy. We can tell Lucy is a woman of highly negotiable virtue because she's wearing red and flashing a ton of the cleave. After Lucy heads off to pin the smiling Alistair in her headlights, Jonathan drones on, "It's quite an eclectic group – new money, old money, no money left" and then bags on Mina for preferring a night at the lab bench to a night of listening to him drone on about the perfidy of the rich while drinking their champagne. Truly, they are London's fun couple.

"Would you rather spend the evening with me, or a pickled toad?" he asks. Mina speaks for us all: "The toad."

So, more party scenes, smuggo Brits making dismissive comments about parvenus (only not using that word because this is network television so why would we credit the viewership with a vocabulary?) and the general establishment that Alexander Grayson is going to be fighting an uphill battle if he wishes to be accepted by what is polite society for a given value of "polite" in a shockingly large range.

Renfield then introduces Alexander Grayson, master of Carfax Manor, and right before he's about to make a speech apologizing for naming his house after a site for used car reports, he's sidelined by Mina. We flash back to him in a ponytail having a lot of candlelit, safe-for-network canoodling with Mina, who looks like she's way more into this than she into that crashing bore Jonathan. Who can blame her? But! Alex rallies with, "Welcome to my house! May you come freely, go safely, and please, leave some of the happiness you bring." Or, failing that, a few pints of AB negative wouldn't go amiss.

Alex then dispatches Renfield to get him the details on Mina and her borefriend, then works the crowd. He meets Jayne Wetherby (stunning in emerald satin and the finest décolletage Science can devise) and her Teutonic plus-one, the Herr Krueger.

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