Doctor Who
World War Three (2)

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | 2 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
World War Three (2)

The Doctor having bought some time, everybody relaxes a titch. "Right then. Question time. Who exactly are the Slitheen?" Harriet helpfully points out that they're aliens, and Green asks who the hell the Doctor is, since he said before that he wasn't human. "Who's not human?" asks Harriet, and she and Rose have a tiny "Who's on first" moment about that. Considering that the only aliens she's met are E.T.'s hyperthyroid farting buddies -- and that was just today -- Harriet seems to be slightly rethinking the whole "I like you too" deal. The Doctor: "Can I have a bit of hush?" Harriet apologizes, and the Doctor turns back to the Slitheen and demands to know their plans. "But he's got a Northern accent!" Harriet protests, and Rose is cheeky: "Lots of planets have a North." Cute.

The Doctor tells them again to hush, and has to re-intimidate the aliens with his bottle of brandy and screwdriver. If I had my wish, every paragraph of every recap would contain at least one sentence like that. This show makes it much more likely. The Doctor: "You've got a spaceship hidden in the North Sea. It's transmitting a signal. You've murdered your way to the top of government. What for? Invasion?" Asquith asks why they would want to invade "this Godforsaken rock," and the Doctor keeps pushing: then what could have possibly brought the Slitheen race here otherwise? (Is it the gas? Because they should call the Gelth back in 1869 and work out some kind of timeshare.) Asquith and Green explain that "Slitheen" isn't a race, but a surname. Green introduces himself as "Jocrassa Fel Fotch Pasameer Day Slitheen" -- even their names are gross! -- and says that they're a family business. Like the Partridge Family, but with more farting. The Doctor asks how they can be making a profit on a "Godforsaken rock," but Asquith takes a moment to clarify the whole "triplicate the flammability" issue. Since the Doctor is doing his favorite part of these adventures -- the really intense conversation with the aliens who are about to kill him about their motives and customs -- he's like, "Who said anything about flammability?" Asquith realizes that the Doctor made the whole thing up, and the Doctor passes the brandy to Harriet: "Have a drink. I think you're gonna need it." She corrects him, "Pass it to the left first," and the Doctor apologizes and hands it to Rose. You might scoff at etiquette's place in this tableau, but I'm telling you -- it's when you're about to have your innards scooped out by aliens so that they can live inside your skin that you'll find etiquette is most important. Dignity's funny that way.

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