Doctor Who
The Unquiet Dead

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | 4 USERS: A-
Zombie Grandma Is Way Cooler Than All Other Zombies

Outside, the Doctor and Rose hear the riot, and he smiles hugely: "That's more like it!" He tosses the newspaper over his shoulder and runs toward the Taliesin, Rose following behind.

Inside, Dickens is trying to stop everybody from freaking out. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't really affect anything: "Stay in your seats, I beg you! It is a lantern show, it's trickery!" He just sounds desperate and needy. While everybody's trying to get out, Sneed and Gwyneth (and Rose and the Doctor) are trying to get in. Gwyneth and Sneed spot the corpse almost immediately, but not because they are good at being morticians -- more because the corpse is screaming and shooting out blue gas all over the place. The Doctor: "Fantastic!" The gases leave completely, and the old woman slumps over in the chair and goes back to being a dead thing. The Doctor approaches Dickens, who's still huffing and puffing up at the front of the audience: "Ah, the wag reveals himself, does he? I trust you're satisfied, sir!" The Doctor's like, "Uh, well then." Rose starts yelling at Sneed and Gwyneth, and chases them off, Grandma Redpath awkwardly in hand. "Be careful!" the Doctor yells after her. How does he deal with it when his Companions get all nosy like this? Like, if Sneed and Gwyneth were a four-hundred-pound brute and a vampiress, instead of a sickly Welsh undertaker and his housemaid, would the Doctor let it go like that? I feel like maybe he would. The Doctor jumps up on the stage with Dickens: "Did it say anything? Could it speak? I'm the Doctor, by the way." Dickens says he looks less like a doctor than a "navvie," which I gather is a laborer of some kind, and the Doctor is indignant: "What's wrong with this jumper?" (By which he still means sweater.)

Rose catches up with Gwyneth and Sneed, who are loading Grandma Howling into the back of the hearse. "What are you doing?" she shouts at them, and Gwyneth really gets into the act, stepping between Rose and the body: "Oh, it's such a tragedy, miss. Don't worry yourself, me and the master will deal with it. The fact is, this poor lady's been taken with the brain fever and we have to get her to the infirmary." I've never had the brain fever, but I don't think it's like that. The baby did almost exactly what Old Mother Redpath just did, a few weeks ago. But she was teething. Rose shoves Gwyneth over and feels the old lady's dead forehead: "She's cold...she's dead! My God, what did you do to her?" Sneed chloroforms Rose from behind, which serves her right for sticking around when she saw people stealing a dead body from the theatre. Gwyneth: "What did you do that for?" Sneed tells her that Rose has "seen too much," because there's no way he would know that she knows nothing about anything. He tells Gwyneth to get her in the hearst, and she does it without even really thinking about it one way or the other. She's a weak one. If you lay Sneed & Gwyneth alongside parallel with the Doctor & Rose, you see some things. Like how Gwyneth keeps giving in, constantly, to everybody, and it always goes wrong, and how Rose keeps telling people to fuck off, and she's always right. Even though they're both wrong about the particulars.

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