Doctor Who
The Unquiet Dead

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | 4 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Zombie Grandma Is Way Cooler Than All Other Zombies

In the morgue, the Doctor is dropping shit for no reason: "Talk about Bleak House." That's not even trying. Rose gets all time-paradox about how "there weren't corpses walking around in 1869," but the Doctor explains the basics: "Time's in flux. It's changing every second. Your cozy little world could be rewritten like that," he says, snapping his fingers. "Nothing is safe. Remember that. Nothing." Dickens notices the dropping temperature, and then the Gelth flood into the room. One positions itself under an archway and speaks like a child: "You have come to help! Praise the Doctor! Praise him!" Rose protests that they mustn't hurt Gwyneth, but the Gelth aren't hearing it: "Hurry! Please. So little time. Pity the Gelth." The Doctor clarifies that this isn't the permanent solution -- that he's going to take them somewhere proper after this is all done -- but they keep yelling, and Gwyneth's nattering on about how she can help her angels live. Gwyneth takes her place under the arch, and Rose asks her one more time to reconsider, but Gwyneth just puts her hands on Rose's face and murmurs, "My angels." Horrible death in five, four, three...The Gelth flood through her with much fanfare and bright lights, and Dickens notices that there are a lot of them. "The bridge is open," they say,. "We descend..."

...and then the main face becomes rather scary-looking. The gas lights turn from the blue we've seen to a bright red, and the face gains some nasty, scary teeth: "The Gelth will come through in force!" Dickens protests that they said there were only a few of them. The Gelth: "A few billion. And all of us in need of corpses!" Bodies start rising, and Sneed orders his housemistress to stop transmitting the disembodied souls of a dying race into corpses from her glowing mouth, like she's being willful. It's hilarious. Corpses grab for them, and one enters Sneed's body: "I have joined the legions of the Gelth. Come, march with us!" Dickens wigs about this, even though Sneed was never that cool, and the Gelth come closer and closer: "We need bodies. All of you. Dead. The human race. Dead!" Rose is so classy she doesn't even say, "I told you this was stupid." The Doctor pointlessly also yells at Gwyneth to cut it out, even though clearly she hasn't been driving for awhile. "Three more bodies -- make them vessels for the Gelth!" yell the spirits. Dickens bounces, yelling apologies behind him, and the Doctor pulls Rose into a small room with a grate. But if they're made of gas...I guess they throttled Sneed before they entered him, so you have to be dead. I just got that. The Gelth screech and scratch at them. "Give yourself to glory. Sacrifice your lives for the Gelth." The Doctor is pissed and sad: "I trusted you. I pitied you!" The Gelth are not feeling that: "We don't want your pity! We want this world...and all its flesh." The Gelth are getting pretty overdramatic at this point, frankly. I mean, zombies are scary, you know? Why with the bombast? The Doctor says that it won't happen while he's alive, and the Gelth assure him that they've got that covered.

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Doctor Who

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