Doctor Who
The Unquiet Dead

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | 4 USERS: A-
Zombie Grandma Is Way Cooler Than All Other Zombies

Horses freak out, outside, because they don't hold with Spiritualism, the occult, or Harry Potter, while inside, everyone has gathered around a table. I love séances because I can't believe people ever actually did this. How gay would you feel doing this? I love that. "This is how Madam Mortlock summons those from the Land of Mists, down in Midtown. Come. We must all join hands." Dickens, predictably, tells them to turn blue, and the Doctor calls him "humbug" and tells him to keep an open mind. He's off on the usual: "This is precisely the sort of cheap mummery I try to unmask. Séances? Nothing but luminous tambourines and a squeeze-box concealed between the knees." (a) Dirty! (b) I'm totally naming my band "The Luminous Tambourines." He says that Gwyneth knows nothing, and the Doctor smirks, "Now, don't antagonize her. I love a happy medium." He woggles his brow at Rose, who cracks up and asides, "I can't believe you just said that." The Doctor tells Dickens that they might need him, I guess if they have to bore the dead people to whatever, death squared, and he sits down again. The Doctor can work him some Dickens, I'll give him that much.

They get situated, and the Doctor tells Gwyneth to "reach out." Framed with a gas lamp over each shoulder," she starts with the "Speak to us" stuff, and they don't get an immediate answer. Dickens rolls his eyes, but this time he's not alone. Gwyneth keeps going, and finally her eyes roll up to a whispering kind of moaning in the air. "Can you hear that?" asks Rose. Excellent question. Dickens keeps gritching and Rose calls his attention to Gwyneth, who is finally freaking out, shavening all over the place with her eyeballs rolled up: "I feel them!" Everybody wigs as the creatures fill the room. The Doctor fine-tunes the reception: "They can't get through the Rift. Gwyneth, it's not controlling you, you're controlling it. Now look deep. Allow them through." Thus does he earn the Bad Idea Bear badge for the episode. Gwyneth continues to act weird and pained, and finally lowers her head and her eyes snap open: "Yes." Three creatures appear, scribbly blue outlines, to Dickens's shock. Sneed exclaims, "Great God. Sprits from the other side!" and the Doctor corrects him: "The other side of the universe." The creatures, which are the Gelth, speak through many tongues, including Gwyneth's: "Pity us. Pity the Gelth. There is so little time, help us." They ask the Doctor to "take the girl to the Rift" and "make the bridge," because they are "so very few": "The last of our kind -- we face extinction." The Doctor presses, knowing better, and they explain: "Once we had a physical form like you...but then the War came." To Dickens's question, they clarify: "The Time War." The Doctor and Rose glance at each other, his mouth a firm line. "The whole universe convulsed. The Time War raged, invisible to smaller species but devastating to higher forms. Our bodies wasted away. We're trapped in this gaseous state." The Doctor presses on, figuring out that that is why they need the dead bodies. "We want to stand tall," say the Gelth. "To feel the sunlight. To live again. We need a physical form, and your dead are abandoned. They're going to waste, give them to us!" Rose is totally grossed out and says they can't, but the Doctor's not hearing it: "[It's] not decent? Not polite? It could save their lives." Rose and the Doctor stare at each other for a moment, and the Gelth continue whining: "Open the Rift. Let the Gelth through. We're dying. Help us. Pity the Gelth!" They disappear, and Gwyneth collapses forward onto the table. Rose immediately jumps up to comfort her. Dickens marvels. The Doctor is quite silent.

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