Doctor Who
The Time of the Doctor

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | 409 USERS: C+
Merry Christmas and Goodbye
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

A pale blue planet with two moons and a ring system spins idly somewhere in unknown space. "This planet sent the universe a message," says a woman's voice. Hundreds and hundreds of ships approach the planet. "Although no one understood the message, everyone who heard it found themselves afraid, except for one man -- the man who stayed for Christmas." This man, of course, is the Doctor, who proceeds to teleport himself onto a Dalek ship followed by a Cyberman ship, without first checking to see where he's going. At least he's consistent with that sort of thing. As soon as he realizes his faux pas, he teleports away, shouting at someone called "Handles" for assistance.

When he returns to the TARDIS, he argues with a Cyberman's head that's been mounted to the console. It looks like something out of a Bjork video. "Handles, I said put me on a ship," the Doctor gripes. "I didn't say put me on a Dalek ship!" He grabs the head and paces around the console. "You did not indicate a preference," says Handles. Hee. The Doctor wonders why so many have come to the planet when nobody can translate the message. Even the Doctor doesn't know what it means. The phone rings on the outside of the TARDIS. After much bickering with Handles about the location of the phone, the Doctor finally goes to answer it. It's Clara, calling from Earth, where she seems to have cast herself in a sitcom. She needs the Doctor to pretend to be her boyfriend in front of her grumpy family for Christmas. There's much flailing and panic and hilarity that isn't actually hilarious. Also, the Doctor apparently once had an android boyfriend for a while. Anyway, Clara is quite frantic and the Doctor is quite frantic, although in his case it's because Cybermen are trying to kill him. He flails his way into the opening credits.

When that's over, we're on Earth with Clara. Her father and grandmother have come for dinner, along with a prissy lady who isn't Clara's mother, because Clara's mother is dead. Clara is overjoyed to find the TARDIS outside her apartment, but somewhat less pleased when she finds the Doctor naked inside it. He tries to give her a big hug, but she warns him away. "What's wrong?" he asks, hurt. "You're naked," she says, turning away. He explains he's going to church this way, but dons a hologram suit of clothes that only Clara can see. This means that when he bounds in to meet the family, they see him au naturel, which pleases Granny to no end. Or, perhaps more accurately, to the Doctor's end. Clara drags her naked "boyfriend" into the kitchen, where they decide they need to take the raw Christmas turkey to the TARDIS for cooking.

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