The Queen Lived

by Jacob Clifton August 1, 2008
Doctor Who Season 4

And the Cloister Bell was ringing, and the TARDIS was freaking out, and the Doctor was more terrified and more in love than you'd ever seen him. You spent hours, days, getting at the secrets, when you returned. You helped him find where the world had gone, and all the other stolen worlds. With your brilliance, and your wisdom, and your instinct, you pushed him further than he'd ever gone before. You smiled, in the midst of the greatest war, and pointed him to Rose. You watched him die. And you were cut off, locked up in the TARDIS like a tower, while the war raged on. It was such a terrible war, with such a final enemy, that grace was required, in the form of two Doctors. And you gave birth to one of them.

Karen Young tells it: "Abu yazid Bistami... approached God as a lover. Sacrificing his own desires to become one with the beloved. Yet the introspective disciplines he adopted to achieve this led beyond this personalised conception of God. As he approached the core of his identity he felt that nothing stood between God and himself; indeed, everything he understood as self seemed to have melted away."

"I gazed upon al-Lah with the eye of truth and said to Him: 'Who is this?' He said, 'This is not I nor other than I. There is no God but I.' Then he changed me out of my identity and into his Selfhood... Then I communed with him with the tongue of His face, saying: 'How fares it with me with Thee?' He said, 'I am through Thee; there is no god but Thou.'" How was it? You'll have to ask Rose. But it's interesting information. In alchemy we call it the marriage of the Red King and the White Queen. They create the most precious thing of all, in their union. And it brings fertility and life, for everyone.

Mother, wife, lover: all the things you'd never been before. All the things you thought you wanted. You were all of them to him. Your breath gave him life, gave us all life. You were the Source. Because it's never a one-way street, is it? In touching the divine, you became more than yourself. Doctor Donna, the first human Time Lady. Burning up inside, with knowledge and power. You were the greatest thing in the universe; you were the most important woman in any of them. For a moment.

It doesn't last. It never lasts, for the same reason Gods and men can't love yet. Ask Rose about both of those. The Doctor can't get his hands dirty because he doesn't have hands, the way you and I think of them. We are the hands. And Rose's Doctor, the Best Wolf we could call him, he was born of the hand, cast off in war. Down in time, the slow path, with the rest of us. Life is fatal; for those of us with human bodies, so is the divine. The sun and the moon, but why do they hurt? Because it's not a dance that ever stops.

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