What’s Eating Dexter Morgan?

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 61 USERS: B+
Fava Beans And A Nice Chianti
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We open with Dexter hearing an echo-y version of Harrison's voice calling "Daddy?" Dexter turns on his bedside lamp and calls his son's name before sleepily wandering out into the kitchen, but he becomes a lot more awake when he sees a trail of red liquid heading toward the bathroom. The echo-y voice calls once more, and Dexter enters the bathroom and flips on the light to see more red stuff and his son's legs sticking out like a house just fell on the rest of him. In this case, though, Harrison isn't wearing ruby slippers, nor is the liquid lying everywhere blood, but melted popsicles. As overdone as this setup is, it'd be fitting if Harrison slid out of there doing a cane dance, vaudeville-style, but his stomach seems too upset for that. Dexter asks if he ate the whole box of popsicles, and Harrison initially denies it, but given that the empty box is silently sitting there all J'accuse, it's not surprising that he quickly recants. Dexter gives his son a shot of Pepto-Bismol, and of all the things on this show that have strained credulity, Harrison taking his medicine without complaint is certainly in the top ten. Kid doesn't even pull a face! Dexter then cleans the red off his son's face as DVO remarks that his son's stomach pain is an easy fix, but it's not going to be that simple to help Deb, and if you look up "tenuous" in an online dictionary, I wouldn't be surprised if you were to hear this voiceover.

This does, however, lead to an effective transition, as Deb's asleep in her car when a police officer taps on her window with his Maglite. She groggily (and obviously still drunkenly) comes to, and the officer recognizes her before pointing out that she's in a car wasted with a recycling bin's worth of open containers, and when she tries to claim a bad couple days in asking for some slack, he tells her that his hands are tied due to the attendant damage to city property. When she staggers out of the car to check out what he means, we see that she hit a parking meter with her right bumper, bending the former about forty-five degrees, whereupon she immediately cracks up. I'm no legal scholar, but I can't imagine that's going to help her case. The officer asks if maybe he can call Dexter for her, but she's obviously like oh hell no, and then she pulls out her phone…

…whereupon -- and it's four in the morning -- Quinn's phone rings. He's in bed with Jamie, so I guess they patched things up for the moment, but he's like, of course, be there right away, and when Jamie asks if everything's okay, he tells her it's "just cop stuff." That'd be almost acceptably true were the intention to deceive not quite so strong.

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