Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B+ | Grade It Now!
"Dex, As A Dark Shadow, Beckons His Prey."
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: Dexter was having a hard time killing evil-doers because Doakes was on his ass, and because something in his conscience was nagging him. Deb had been living with Dex since Brian tried slicing her up, and was still so freaked that she ended up smashing some poor guy's nose in a bar. She returned to work nonetheless. FIP pleaded with Rita to help him get out of prison, and when she refused, he got pissed, got in a fight, and got dead. Upon finding this out, Rita basically accused Dexter of being complicit in FIP's arrest. Dexter found another guy to kill, a "beef bus" named Little Chino, a hit man for a gang called "The 29th Street Kings." Dexter tried in earnest to kill the mountainous man, but didn't tape him down hard enough, and the guy escaped, leaving Dex to feel dejected. At least he got some serious punches in before Beef Bus took off. Compounding Dexter's stress was the discovery of his previous victims' bodies by treasure hunters. Deb was psyched about the development; Dexter, not so much.

Dex is lying in bed, staring at his ceiling fan as it spins slowly. Seems like he's having trouble sleeping, and if I were in his predicament, I'd be shitting myself. "I'm drifting," he VOs. "I finally get a chance to kill and I can't do it." Yeah, you really are off your game, homeslice. "A second chance, and he gets away. And now, all my secrets are floating to the surface." He starts tossing and turning in bed. "Where is the orderly, controlled, effective Dexter? How did I lose him? How do I find him again? I'm drifting, but not to sleep." Fade out. Dude, this shit is heavy, man. So far, the tone of this season is way darker than the first. A lot of the comic relief is missing, and Dexter's myriad problems are weighing things down. He needs to get rid of some baggage, seriously. I'm having trouble keeping up with all the things that could go wrong here.

"A shocking and gruesome discovery off the coast of Florida yesterday," blares Dexter's clock radio, awakening him. Looks like he drifted off to sleep after all. "Police are still searching through mountains of evidence found lying at the bottom of the ocean." A quick shot of the doll head keychain pans to Dexter's face, which has a Dude, You've Got To Be Kidding Me expression on it.

Down in the barrio of the 29th Street Kings, where a body lies under a sheet beyond police tape. Angel is standing over it as Dexter pulls up in his car. "Here I am," Dex VOs. "Back in the belly of the beast." I'm going to go ahead and assume that the beast he's referring to is Little Chino, our beefy buddy. "But how can I solve a crime when I can't even solve what's wrong with me? Duty calls..." He gets out of the car, and crosses the police tape. Masuka accosts him, and says, "Eight confirmed." "Here?" "No, here's just one," says Angel. Masuka reveals that he's referring to the "Bay Harbor Butcher," a moniker the press has assigned to our main man. Dexter repeats the name unbelievingly, and Masuka says, "That's what the press is calling whoever dumped those bodies off-shore." "That's a little...lurid," says Dexter, clearly unimpressed. Angel expresses his hope that it's really the ITK's dumping ground. "Tell me about it," says Dex. "Last thing Miami needs is another serial killer." Heh. Masuka uncovers the body on the ground, and it belongs to Eva Arenas, the mother of Little Chino's last victim, Rafael. Looks like Chino got to her before she could take the stand. Angel recaps for us that all she wanted was justice against The Kings for what happened to her son: "First she's the messenger --" "Now she's the message," jumps in Doakes out of nowhere. Dex says she was clearly killed with a machete, and Angel mentions that the Gang Crash Unit is all over Little Chino for this. "Last thing I want is for the cops to bring Little Chino in," Dex VOs. "He's mine." Yeah, well, some could say that ship has sailed, my friend. "Why don't you take a picture, Morgan? It'll last longer," Doakes snaps. "What would I do without you, Sergeant?" I don't know, kill someone?

Some woman outside the police tape is kvetching at Deb in Spanish about how ineffective and racist the police are. Deb doesn't understand much Spanish, which is normally fine, but come on, Deb. You live and work in Miami. I'd think by now you'd at least have a working knowledge of the language; it would totally make you a better cop. Deb tries telling her to slow down, but the woman leaves in a huff. Some kid on a bike says, "She's saying you fuckin' cops don't do nothin'." Deb says, "Oh, really? She has such a flippant attitude towards double negatives?" Ah, if only. What she really says is, "Grandma really talks like that?" "Not exactly, but you get the point, right, bitch?" Whoa, dude. If my mom ever heard me talk like that to an authority figure, I would have had a boot so far up my ass I would have been tasting leather for a week. Deb looks incredulous as the kid rolls away, and walks over to Dexter. "Fucking people don't want our help." What tipped you off? Looking at Eva's body, Deb mentions that she had a little girl. "I know," says Dex. "This stuff never gets to you?" Deb asks. "I'm more of a crying-on-the-inside kind of guy." Masuka cracks that the hatchet job in front of them "makes the Ice Truck Killer look like a goddamn artist. Oh, right. Sorry, Morgan." "What?" she says, trying to appear normal. "I'm so over that." Of course you are. Except for the "Of course you are" part.

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