Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B+ | 3 USERS: A+
Flaming The Cabin
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: You know what? If you don't already know what happened, you really shouldn't be reading this yet. Sorry. All you need to know right now is that Lila has found the cabin where Doakes is being held.

So, at the cabin, Lila's snooping around outside, and Doakes calls out, "Hello! Who's out there?" Lila reaches the front door, and looks in puzzlement at the lock that's keeping it shut. "I need some help! Get me out of here!" Looking through a crack in the boarded-up window, Lila asks, "Who are you?" "Just open the door! I'm being held captive!" Lila spies an axe lying on the ground next to the porch, and grabs it.

Over at Dex's place, Deb has her sidearm out, and she's loading that bad boy up. She notices Dexter cleaning up their dinner, and says, "Leave the mess for once! Walk away from the mess." "You know I can't do that," replies Dexter with a hint of a smile. Deb tells him that Lundy needs him, too: "He's mobilizing every agency in five counties. We're closin' in!" "You have a rental car, you don't have Doakes, yet." Deb lets her annoyance be known, and Dex reminds her that he's only useful if there's blood present at the scene. "Well, maybe we'll shoot him." "Then you'll need a paramedic, not me." "Are you afraid to face Doakes?" Dex tells her that of course he is, and that he has dishes to do. "Fine, I'll let you know when it's over," she says, pissed, and leaves. After a brief pause, she comes back in: "It's Doakes, you fucking hate the guy!" "I used to, but I can't afford to think of him as a person anymore." "I tried," she replies, and leaves again.

Once she's gone, Dexter sprints to the foot locker in his bedroom, VOing, "If they find Doakes locked inside a cage, it will seriously undermine my frame-job." Dex pulls out his case of M99, and inspects the rest of his tools. "I need to beat them to that cabin." Yeah, you do. What's gonna happen if you don't? Handheld drill? Check. Duct tape? Check. Let's roll.

In his car, which I can only imagine he got from the motor pool, Dexter's putting the pedal to the metal, and continuing his VO: "Waiting out there in the Everglades are hordes of county sheriffs, search parties, and ravenous reptiles. And in this corner, wearing the dark trunks, The Mighty Dexter." Dexter pulls up to a trailer that's going somewhere around fifteen miles per hour, and he frustratedly puts a hand to his face. After honking once, he pulls around and passes the slow-moving vehicle on the shoulder. "Drive much?" he yells over his shoulder, and turns back around to find that he's about to get into a head-on collision. He swerves to barely avoid it, and VOs, "I need a miracle."

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