Surprise, Mother…

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 19 USERS: A
Breaking Bad

Dexter takes a ragged breath and reiterates the sentiment he's been saying since he met her -- that she's the only person in the world from whom he doesn't have to hide anything -- and that he doesn't know what he'll do without her. She urgently tells him it's not too late -- if he were to disappear the poisoned pen from evidence, the case against her would break down, and they'd be together again. She even suggests that they could go to Argentina, which would solve the Deb problem, but Dexter flatly tells her he can never trust her. He's probably also not super-jazzed about getting a recycled fantasy as his getaway destination, either. He goes on that she can similarly never trust him -- again, man's got a point -- and finishes, "We both knew it would come to this -- one of us dead or behind bars." Hannah nods and smiles with equal parts humor and menace: "Except I always thought it would be you." Also not devoid of humor, he apologizes, and then they mack for a bit -- and then she bites his lip, drawing blood. He may have put her behind bars, but I always thought she was the scorpion in this relationship, so it's nice of her to admit it with such flair. She tells him goodbye and really kind of swaggers off, and it's no surprise that DVO admits how smitten he still is: "I tried to kill Hannah, but I couldn't. I want to hate her for what she did to Deb, but I can't." And I have to ask: Who can? Besides Deb, that is, but she hates everyone.

Cut to Schram getting a collect call from Hannah, which she accepts with only minor hesitation. Hannah puts on her best damsel-in-distress voice and tells Schram she can't live like this anymore, and even though Schram is like, "Uh, you haven't even been tried yet," Hannah is like, yeah, well, that time I "took care of that counselor" (good thing to be discussing with the operator listening in) means that you owe me, so here's what you're going to do. Schram's all ears, but what Hannah tells her is not for ours yet.

Dexter and Harrison are playing in the living room, and the array of stuff on the floor prompts Jamie good-naturedly to proclaim it "Toymageddon," which while not the best line is more amusing than Harrison's subsequent declaration that he misses Hannah. Possibly having anticipated this coming up, or possibly being one of the only people on his show who's actually well-adjusted, Jamie has no problem smoothly telling him that Hannah had to go away, but she surely misses him very much, and while that's not exactly original, Harrison's still young enough to buy it.

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